To date or not to date...

A recent observation that I have made about my friends and peers is that most of them are anxious to get a girl/boyfriend, otherwise they feel like they're not good enough and develop self-esteem issues. By pining over this holy object of affection, it often takes up the better part of each day, and it also takes away from the enjoyment one can obtain by casually spending time with close friends.

NOTE: IF YOU HAVEN'T YET NOTICED FROM MY PREVIOUS POSTS, I AM A HATER, AND I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT'S LYRICS FOR THIS VERY REASON. HER SONGS ARE ALWAYS ABOUT THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T GET THE GUY, AND IT ENCOURAGES HER FANS TO ADOPT THIS RIDICULOUSLY ROMANTICIZED VIEW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE. BE STRONG AND RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO BECOME ANOTHER ONE OF HER BLIND FOLLOWERS!

Now that I got that out of my system...Admittedly, it's really fun to have a flirtacious conversation with the opposite sex or just enjoy being with people who you can be EXTRA friendly with, but does that mean you HAVE to be in a relationship when you can experience the same things being single? Personally, if I had to choose whether I'd rather be single or in a relationship, I would have to say SINGLE. Hmm, now let me try to explain why I feel this way...

To be honest, my whole point is not really about why being single is good, but rather why the alternative is inconvenient. When you're single, you have TONS of freedom. You don't have to worry about: making your sweetie jealous, scheduling your significant other before other things, and you have more control over life decisions that you have to make. My biggest problem with the facebook "In a Relationship" status is that I disapprove of the majority of the modern motivations for dating. This includes being lonely and needing a regular companion, hormonal needs that people are tired of fulfilling themselves, social status (e.g. choosing a hot, smart, or rich partner), dating someone you don't really know yet, or even the classic warm, fuzzy feelings that just aren't strong enough to warrant initiating a serious relationship. Obviously there are more unfortunate reasons why people get involved in relationships, but getting involved with someone for any of these reasons is when the relationship horrifically turns more into a JOB.

People looking for a little fun or quality time from a member of the opposite sex may think what they need is a relationship...you're WRONG! What you are looking for is friends with benefits or just a loyal confidant, NOT a relationship. Even if you manage to establish a wonderful relationship with someone you feel is "the one", it's definitely nothing like the movies make it out to be. After all, the chase and pre-relationship suspense is actually quite anticlimactic, and relationships don't actually turn out to be heaven on earth with a romantic kiss at the end that fades to black. In reality, getting into a relationship is like getting a pet (---NOT that you should treat your partner like a pet! -_-"). It seems all fun and romantic before and at the beginning, but once you've enjoyed it for a while, you begin to learn more about the responsibilities and less pleasant aspects about dating. Sure, there are good moments, but there are also lots of time-consuming bumps and twists in the road. A major example I can think of is fighting. When couples fight, the argument may eventually cease, but the underlying problem often goes unresolved. Just the fact that your adversary is YOUR PARTNER, you both feel obligated to apologize and salvage the relationship as soon as possible just so you can return to that beautiful happy place. Why else do you think there is always something you can tell friends but not your partner? People want to avoid conflict. You read it in novels, see it on the tube--everyone wants to have that picture perfect relationship with their mate and display how happy they are along with their whitewashed fence, little house on the hill, and perfectly united family. Well, this is only part of the crap you'll be putting yourself through from the moment you decide to engage in a serious relationship.

I also disagree with people not wanting to ask out friends that they have known for a while JUST because they "don't want to ruin a friendship". I think this is complete and utter bs, as long as they are not already in a relationship. In my opinion, it's just an excuse for not wanting to embarrass themselves in front of a friend who they already care about. Besides, if they are a sincere, true friend, in the worst case scenario where the relationship turns sour, it shouldn't matter how they reject or break up with you. Things aren't going to be anymore uncomfortable or awkward than if you secretly love them while witnessing them get involved with a stranger who randomly comes into the picture. In fact, if you are close enough friends for these feelings to be true, chances are, they are already aware of your affections. Going back to my opinion about friendship, you can always make a new friend if the old ones are foolish enough to leave you for something so petty.

Having had this single vs. relationship discussion with several troubled friends already, the common argument against my opinion is, "Well, that's easy for you to say because you're already IN a relationship!" I'm not saying that EVERYONE should stay single, but people shouldn't be TRYING to get into a relationship. If you really want a complex thing like love to work out, you should let your relationship develop naturally and really get to know someone before you even THINK about dating them. This will save you a lot of time, effort, and potential heartbreak. Only once your heart--NOT YOUR HORMONES--really tells you that your relationship stands a long-term chance should you make a move. To be honest, I actually encourage "exploring your options", taking time to flirt with and get to know other individuals, making no promises, and just having fun. Relationships are actually tiring, often frustrating, and require a lot of hard work. Bask in the glory of the single life for as long as possible until you find someone who makes it worthwhile to get yourself tangled in the complexities of love and relationships.

Application of Economic Concept: Marginal utility > Marginal cost, otherwise NO PURCHASE!

DISCLAIMER: I am not encouraging playboys, whores, or anything else of the sort...but quite possibly condoning them.