At every level of school--elementary, high school, and university--I thought I was in the worst years of my life at the time. Mostly because I felt pretty crappy about myself and the people around me everywhere I went...and it still holds true today. Never once did I acknowledge my current situation as a "good" time, but given the perspective I have today, I think my favourite years were during elementary school. I suppose my friends of that part of my life were the "truest" and really appreciated/knew me for who I really was; those relationships were also the most meaningful (aside from the romantic relationships of course). The kids around me surprisingly dealt with a lot of tough things at such a young age. I think I can also remember being truly happy then.
Today? I was wrong about my peers. They don't make me feel good; my early feelings were masked by the adrenaline-fed anticipation of a new term. This is just another stop I have to get through on the long journey of life. Hopefully I have the good sense to make the best of it while I'm here. I'm trying to care, but it's tough. What's in a name? That which we call a friend would by any other name be as meaningless.
Then again, considering the whole idea of perspective addressed in this post, maybe I'll look back to these years (i.e. undergrad) and think they were the best years of my life--but most likely not.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Gossip Boy
Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, I don't think girls are more prone to gossiping than boys. Girls are simply more open and less stealthy about discussing their beef with other people. Perhaps it has something to do with the stereotypical female conversation topics.
Where men fill their conversations with sports/gaming talk (and we all know how long this can go on...), women would otherwise discuss "girly" things like fashion and their own lives--what better way to get over the issues of your own life or salvage your self-esteem than to gossip about other people's lives? This is my hypothesis for why gossip appears to be more common for women than men.
A lot of men are generally less likely to discuss their personal life or, more specifically, emotions in conversation particularly in a public area. Does this necessarily mean they don't gossip as much? I don't think so...for a few reasons:
1. I think it's part of human nature to be curious about other people and how their lives have turned out. Male or female, we need and often seek out similar standards to our own lives; isn't that part of the reason the concept of a "celebrity" even exists? And lets face it, there are plenty of female celebrities that most girls don't care about in the slightest (*cough Megan Fox). Yet they're still making headlines and selling movies; clearly, they must be receiving support from our male counterparts in the audience. Point being, there is equal motivation for males to gossip. Sometimes the motivation for seeking out gossip may be different for males and females. For example, males might entertain gossip just for entertainment, to be in the know, etc.
2. As I alluded to before, men are more stealthy. Generally, not over-brimming with emotion, they have the patience to save gossip for a private place, and when they know something, they are more experienced with keeping emotions in, regardless of how exciting it is. Take a royal flush for instance; the top 10 poker players in the world, rated by ESPN in 2010 are all men (http://www.onlinepokernews.org/poker-news/top-10-poker-players-according-to-espn/1791). This also speaks to their bluffing skills. Furthermore, men have an additional reason not to openly gossip: it's become known as a "girl" thing to do. What's that saying for a loop--something about a self-fulfilling prophecy?
3. Yes guys tend to be more upfront about things, but they also avoid creating drama or heated arguments, especially ones they know they can't win no matter what they say (i.e. husband-wife). Not being addressed directly, some of this emotional burden might come out through other means such as gossip.
4. Gay guys excluded, what do guys love ALMOST as much as their games/sports? Girls. And lets face it, we're complicated--or at least we try to be. That only adds to our allure and intrigue, but it doesn't make snagging one of us any easier for the guys. Unlike most sports/games, there isn't really a GENERAL strategy that works on all of us. I believe that has created the need for guys to discretely share intel on the different girls they are close to and have unlocked the secret levels for.
Gossip is an unfortunate but necessary thing for us as humans. Men and women do it just as frequently. However, the motivations, subjects, and ways they go about gossiping differ.
Where men fill their conversations with sports/gaming talk (and we all know how long this can go on...), women would otherwise discuss "girly" things like fashion and their own lives--what better way to get over the issues of your own life or salvage your self-esteem than to gossip about other people's lives? This is my hypothesis for why gossip appears to be more common for women than men.
A lot of men are generally less likely to discuss their personal life or, more specifically, emotions in conversation particularly in a public area. Does this necessarily mean they don't gossip as much? I don't think so...for a few reasons:
1. I think it's part of human nature to be curious about other people and how their lives have turned out. Male or female, we need and often seek out similar standards to our own lives; isn't that part of the reason the concept of a "celebrity" even exists? And lets face it, there are plenty of female celebrities that most girls don't care about in the slightest (*cough Megan Fox). Yet they're still making headlines and selling movies; clearly, they must be receiving support from our male counterparts in the audience. Point being, there is equal motivation for males to gossip. Sometimes the motivation for seeking out gossip may be different for males and females. For example, males might entertain gossip just for entertainment, to be in the know, etc.
2. As I alluded to before, men are more stealthy. Generally, not over-brimming with emotion, they have the patience to save gossip for a private place, and when they know something, they are more experienced with keeping emotions in, regardless of how exciting it is. Take a royal flush for instance; the top 10 poker players in the world, rated by ESPN in 2010 are all men (http://www.onlinepokernews.org/poker-news/top-10-poker-players-according-to-espn/1791). This also speaks to their bluffing skills. Furthermore, men have an additional reason not to openly gossip: it's become known as a "girl" thing to do. What's that saying for a loop--something about a self-fulfilling prophecy?
3. Yes guys tend to be more upfront about things, but they also avoid creating drama or heated arguments, especially ones they know they can't win no matter what they say (i.e. husband-wife). Not being addressed directly, some of this emotional burden might come out through other means such as gossip.
4. Gay guys excluded, what do guys love ALMOST as much as their games/sports? Girls. And lets face it, we're complicated--or at least we try to be. That only adds to our allure and intrigue, but it doesn't make snagging one of us any easier for the guys. Unlike most sports/games, there isn't really a GENERAL strategy that works on all of us. I believe that has created the need for guys to discretely share intel on the different girls they are close to and have unlocked the secret levels for.
Gossip is an unfortunate but necessary thing for us as humans. Men and women do it just as frequently. However, the motivations, subjects, and ways they go about gossiping differ.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)