Are you afraid of the dark?

Personally, I'm not that afraid of the dark. Of course it depends on what kind of sounds are going on in the background and where I am, but generally I am not. Usually people are afraid of the dark because of the crazy ideas that movies put into our heads or simply our own imaginations. We need to separate real life from the cinema. Of course, sometimes it's just fun to pretend to be scared or to scream with your friends, but I am generally fearless in the dark--just a bit blind. However, there are several things that I am afraid of:

1. Touching slimy animals or certain insects. I don't have a problem with killing flies or mosquitoes in my hands (or with kleenexes) or sweeping spiders to the outdoors, but I definitely won't volunteer to pet a spider, bait a worm, or touch any other slimy creature. The only insect I don't mind touching are ladybugs cuz they're just so pretty and...lady-like? I suppose this fear has also affected my second fear.

2. The ocean and its wildlife. Not only are these creatures slimy, but in grade 5, we studied a lot of sea creatures in moderate detail. Almost everything has some sharp, electrical, slimy, poisonous defense, so I refuse to go snorkeling or venture into ocean waters deeper than 1/4 my height. Even when I've gone swimming in the lake water at my cottage and floating seaweed brushes against me, I get freaked out. To protect myself from any native wildlife, I try to move my legs around a lot so they know to stay away from me.

3. Heights. Pretty common, so there's not much to be said about this one. Basically it has prevented me from volunteering to participate in things such as rock climbing, diving, going on amusement park rides, or even thinking of even attempting any of those extreme sports like bungee jumping, sky diving, parachuting, etc.

4. Public humiliation. The way I see it, almost everyone has this fear; people just protect themselves from it in different ways. To make my point more easily, I'll default to the high school sterotypes: Basically, the popular kids declare themselves as such; giving themselves immunity against all jokes redirected at them. They also have the power of numbers. I suspect this is also why people establish BFFs...in the case that everything happens to go wrong, they can just go to this one person and pretend not to care what the rest of the world thinks. The only flaw with this concept is that often in these popular circles, the "bff" often turns out to be the big backstabber.

The rebellious "weird" kids are pretty similar to the popular group. The only difference is that the justification for their actions is to counteract the damage done by the popular group. Their life purpose is to do or say weird things just to prove that an opposite extreme exists. Most members of this group pride themselves on being hyperactive/crazy and showing everyone that they are having the most fun acting that way.

Lastly, there are the middleground nobodies who'd rather be invisible. I'd like to include myself in this group because I can identify directly with what I believe is their underlying rationale. Motto: Don't do anything outstanding and nothing about you will stand out for people to make fun of.

Whether you can identify with any of these stereotypical groups or not, my point was that everyone has put up their own form of defense against public humiliation. After all, who sincerely wants to be the big joke shared around the table or the latest hot topic for gossip?

5. Failure.
To tell you the truth, failure itself is not my true fear, but rather the side-effects of failure. My biggest fear is disappointing people. You're probably thinking, "Well yeah, you're an Asian with strict Asian parents; Of course you're scared of getting the bamboo stick!" No, it's actually not like that at all. Before my big transformation from being a passive student who just went to school everyday like camp to a dedicated student who realized the importance of grades, my mom yelled at me a lot to do my homework and improve my studies. At the time, I thought yelling was just one of those mom jobs, but then I realized she cared about my success. To be honest, I don't really care about my own success, but I am motivated in all that I do to fulfill the expectations of my family, my friends, coworkers, etc. If I disappointed them, I would feel that I am not making it worth their while to take care of me, befriend me, or even care that I exist. As a result, I crack easily under pressure because all I can think about is the worst case scenario of all-around disappointment. I also prefer to be underestimated or have people expect nothing of me and be pleasantly surprised.


OVERALL, I'd like to think I'm braver than the average girl. I'm not afraid of germs, getting dirty, killing bugs, breaking a nail, or having bad hair days. But really, I can't claim I'm any better than a soft girly girl because they handle basic things like high-pressure situations or swimming in the ocean way better than I could ever hope to.

People often say you should work on getting over your fears by facing them instead of running away. I partially disagree because fears are not always irrational. Often there are morals or prior experience behind these rationalizations that other people may not understand. Taking the example of rollercoasters, I don't like riding them because the heights and upside-down manoeuvers are not one of my preferred methods of dying. My fear of rollercoasters is still plausible because there have been a lot of amusement park accidents...the fact that I am afraid shows that I weight the risk involved in this activity more than others.

People's fears are like personal values or characteristics that define who they are. Instead of forcing people to face their fears, I think one should just be there to support and help them through it whenever they ask for it and, more importantly, when they're not smart enough to ask for it.