Monday, September 13, 2010

Lonely I'm so Lonely I have Nobody All on my Own

So I'm into my second week of work at my new co-op placement. The direction and intentions of the research seem pretty interesting, and I'm eager to get into the meat of the work, but my job has started pretty slow with my supervisor so busy and me not being fully oriented in my responsibilities. So things are slow all around. Literally.

With a population of around 3000, Harrow's a pretty quiet place with not much to do and hardly any big franchises (i.e. mostly local businesses)--well, other than the standard things like banks and liquor stores. Anyway, I've attempted to use this term as a sort of...cleansing. This includes mentally, academically, nutritionally, and, much to your relief I'm sure, physically.

So far, I have been, for the most part, successful in maintaining a regular routine consisting of:
-run
-shower
-eat
-study
-chat
-reflect
-sleep

Until yesterday, I've been living in a house entirely on my own. It's awesome! I had 5 bedrooms, 2 washrooms, 2 kitchens, 1 living room, free laundry, unlimited internet, and cable TV all for $375/month. It's truly amazing--actually more enjoyable than my own permanent house in some ways. Unfortunately, someone else moved in yesterday. He's actually a 3rd year chemical engineer from Waterloo, same year as me. Anyway...although it's not really the same as when I could walk to the shower already half naked, it's still pretty awesome because his room is on a different floor, I never see him use the kitchen, and he has learned that we can each have our own washroom. :) He also seems kind of shy, so it seems like I'll still feel like I'm alone in the house since he doesn't seem interested in talking or hanging out.

You are probably thinking, "Wow, you must be lonely. All by yourself in hick town!" Or for my more narcissistic friends, "You miss me now, don't you? Being in complete isolation, now you'll be able to appreciate me more when you come back." My answer, "Sure, but it's not too bad." My real answer?

Not at all.

Maybe I'm socially retarded, but I prefer being alone. It's such a pain to meet people for the first time, make awkward conversation, and "get to know them". On the other hand, too much of people and my life can can become drama-ridden, tiresome, and I, of course, start to see faults in that person that may or may not be there.

So why do I give that untruthful answer? Well, it's what people expect. If I were to give my real answer, people would just think I'm being defiant or ridiculously unreasonable. Then I have to give an explanation. It just seems easier to go with the socially acceptable answer. People are SUPPOSED to enjoy the company of others and require human interaction at some point. Me? I feel like I could do with a lot less, from what I've seen so far...

4 comments:

  1. First of all, I don't understand why you were 'half naked.' You were alone for god's sakes. Unless you are so ashamed of your own shape to actually cover yourself from you, you should go all the way.

    Second, you were born alone, you sure damn will die alone. I'm sorry but that's the path you've chosen.

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  2. LOL. First of all, not all of us are as ignorant of our unattractiveness, John. And yes maybe I am ashamed...

    Second, you make it sound like being alone is a bad thing. No need to apologize. "Loneliness = good" is what this post is all about.

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  3. Cathy, your ex-coworkerSeptember 23, 2010 at 12:09 AM

    Do you miss CECS now?
    I know I do, I'm so lonely at work. No one's the same age as me, and I hate awkward first convos. ugh.

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  4. Yes Cathy, I miss barging into your office with nothing to do but beg you to let me organize your spreadsheets. :(

    I'm not lonely, but I do miss my CECS buddies.

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