Just to make the topic of this post clearer...
Club: a group of persons organized for a social, literary, athletic, political, or other purpose; an organization that offers its subscribers certain benefits, as discounts, bonuses, or interest, in return for regular purchases or payments
All my life, I've never really been much of a club person, other than the time my cousin and I set up a little clubhouse in her old van to plays cards and keep random thingamajigs in. I suppose this has something to do with my introverted personality and reluctance to meet new people. In fact, I have a reluctance to get involved with anything new or outside of my regular routine, but that's a post for another day.
For some reason, I just can't ignore this haunting scenario of me standing awkwardly in the corner while everyone is socializing and engaging in intelligent conversation. I am horrible at just MAKING conversation. IN FACT, this scenario is very much like my situation when I was in the UW Euchre club in the fall term of last year. I made one friend, and she was the only one that I felt brave enough to talk to because everyone seemed to know each other and have different favoured topics of discussion and interests from myself--and yet I still went because I just love euchre that much -_-" . The rest of the time, I felt awkward and out of place because everyone seemed to know each other pretty well, they have similar interests to discuss, and I didn't feel like I had anything useful to contribute to the discussions, other than "pass" or "spades, going alone". Again, my lack of conversational skills relates to my being out of touch with the world, a big part of which I will blame on the absence of cable in my house.
Throughout elementary school, high school, and even my first year of university, I always heard about clubs being advertised and all sorts of announcements for general meetings, but I never seriously considered joining any of them. I always found some excuse or other not to join whether I supported their goals or not. For some reason, I felt they were a waste of time because they were student-run. I thought, what could you possibly learn from other students in a club that you couldn't learn on your own? Besides, I can talk to most of these people in any of my classes. Only until this year did I even start to realize the importance of joining clubs.
To be honest, elementary and high school clubs are not so much a big deal. They are pretty closely monitored by teachers, and they hardly benefit society on a bigger scale. Yeah, I know, if everyone does a little, it becomes a lot--just like litter--but for the sake of this post lets separate theory from practice.
Side Note: an interesting thing my AFM prof said in class a few weeks ago, "In theory, theory is practice, but in practice it's not." Something about quotes, which use a few words repetitively yet succinctly, appeals to me.
Since I never really joined any clubs, I can only share my impressions of the responsibilities that the "execs" of these kinds of clubs have. As usual, feel free to express your utter outrage and disappointment in my opinions, minus the profanities please. So yeah, it seemed like these execs mainly collected money, took attendance, or announced dates of events--simple errands that my elementary school teachers would often select random volunteers to do. So how many skills or qualifications does it really take?
Back to secondary school clubs and earlier, the real value in joining them is to gain what I'd like to call "resume experience" for university clubs. "Resume experience" is basically when you hold a position or participate in something that doesn't really develop either your soft or technical skills, but on paper, the job title or tasks sound more significant than they really are. Really, you're just killing another inch of a tree trunk. Anyways, the point of filling up your resume with a bunch of elementary and high school experience is to make yourself LOOK more prepared than your peers when you enter university. When you enter university, the meaning of a club is a whole new story.
1. Networking
As much as I HATE this concept, it is sadly one of the keys to being successful in life. Yes, that also means suckups will rule the world (but this doesn't mean you can't still hate them ;) ). In university, you pretty much get scared into joining clubs because it's difficult to fill up your resume with actual work experience that will relate to co-op job requirements. Plus, you have to make sure the execs at least know you exist, in case you need reference letters or something. When I say networking, I don't just mean for academic or professional work purposes, but also social. By joining clubs or extracurricular groups, I made some interesting friends and witnessed a diversity of students that I would never have noticed otherwise. University or college is SO big that you don't really get a chance to meet everyone or at least see what they're like. Uni clubs are a great opportunity for this.
2. Exec positions
Unlike clubs in the earlier stages of education, clubs are actually FULLY student run, and students are always busy people. Thus, the responsibilities of the club are pretty well organized to fairly distribute various "housekeeping" tasks for the club amongst several members--much like the organizational structure of a company. I actually find this very interesting and useful for application in real life when you're out in the workplace. Having actually gotten involved in a club this year (first time in my life), I realize it's a lot of work and responsibility. To be honest, responsibility and real-life applicable things scare the hell out of me. I AM NOT READY TO GROW UP!! Thus, my natural coping mechanism is to pretend I'm playing house, store, or some kind of make-believe life game. That's basically how I dealt with my grade 11 accounting course, learning how to drive, cooking for myself, and being an Internal Relations Coordinator for the UW English Tutors. Btw, this reminds me of the good old elementary school days when I would feed my friends grass salad. Mm-mmm.
3. Fun
A lot of the clubs at UW are pretty random and obviously based on sincere interest in something (e.g. photography, swing dance, hip hop, ballroom dancing, and I believe I saw some sort of cheese tasting club Yummmmyy...). In high school and elementary school, I don't really remember a club being based on a random interest, except for anime club, but I refuse to count it! I guess since the school's population is smaller there is a lower probability that enough people will have similar interests in the same thing to establish a substantial member base for that club.
IF YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO READ THE WHOLE POST START HERE:
Clubs are important for filling up your resume and developing practical skills for living life. Believe me, if you plan on going anywhere in life, force yourself to join at least one club, and you may even be lucky enough to enjoy it.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I swear the happiest day of my life is the day that I die
Apologies to anyone who is having an awesome day or is just plain unsettled by the title of my post. Today just seemed like the perfect day to quote a lyric from one of my favourite songs from elementary punk rock/emo music days.
An intriguing quote that I randomly found on the Internet one day and posted on my fb page was, "Do not mistake happiness for the absence of misery". Somehow I liked it because I'm sort of drawn in by the ever-so-elusive secret to happiness. I wonder if it also works in reverse: Do not mistake misery for the absence of happiness...? If so, today would be a pretty humongous mistake on my part.
That said, how shall I describe today? Well, technically, my day started really early because I didn't sleep until 3 or 4 am--not because I finally made a lifestyle choice to begin partying or because I was having some kind of TV show or Asian drama marathon. Instead, I was coughing my brains out. Lovely, I know. In a wonderfully horrible chain reaction of catastrophe, my body wanted to get its full 10 hours of sleep. Hence, I ended up waking up around 1 pm. Immediately, I went over to my friend John's apartment to borrow his washing machine. That took about 3 hours, and I had to walk back and forth in the cold rain because all of my warm layerable clothes were stashed in my 2 weeks' load of laundry. I even had to take off one of the 4 layers I was wearing because it was dirty--talk about hoboish. -_-"
Anyways, I spent the rest of the day trying to fix up my resume format for jobmine and applying to a bunch of random jobs. Apparently, most people will be applying for 35-40 jobs, and I could only find 17 that I was even only slightly undercapable of. Oh, and if you didn't know, I kind of hate my program, so if I don't get a co-op job, I'm seriously considering switching out of my program into Honours science. On top of that, I'm not doing well in ANY of my courses. None of them are bird courses, and even though I expected most of them to be hard, they are surprisingly exceeding my expectations in difficulty, thus defeating my previously undefeated emotional safeguard. I am gradually falling behind in all of my readings, assignments, and practice questions, and I'm too sick and drugged up to make any considerable progress in a time-efficient manner. Just knowing this stresses me out like hell. To sum things up, life is not going well, but what else is new?
On the bright side, I have become less stingy with the utility bill and have turned on more lamps in my room. Now I can happily clickety clack away on my keyboard because I have finally found something substantial to really COMPLAIN about. :)
An intriguing quote that I randomly found on the Internet one day and posted on my fb page was, "Do not mistake happiness for the absence of misery". Somehow I liked it because I'm sort of drawn in by the ever-so-elusive secret to happiness. I wonder if it also works in reverse: Do not mistake misery for the absence of happiness...? If so, today would be a pretty humongous mistake on my part.
That said, how shall I describe today? Well, technically, my day started really early because I didn't sleep until 3 or 4 am--not because I finally made a lifestyle choice to begin partying or because I was having some kind of TV show or Asian drama marathon. Instead, I was coughing my brains out. Lovely, I know. In a wonderfully horrible chain reaction of catastrophe, my body wanted to get its full 10 hours of sleep. Hence, I ended up waking up around 1 pm. Immediately, I went over to my friend John's apartment to borrow his washing machine. That took about 3 hours, and I had to walk back and forth in the cold rain because all of my warm layerable clothes were stashed in my 2 weeks' load of laundry. I even had to take off one of the 4 layers I was wearing because it was dirty--talk about hoboish. -_-"
Anyways, I spent the rest of the day trying to fix up my resume format for jobmine and applying to a bunch of random jobs. Apparently, most people will be applying for 35-40 jobs, and I could only find 17 that I was even only slightly undercapable of. Oh, and if you didn't know, I kind of hate my program, so if I don't get a co-op job, I'm seriously considering switching out of my program into Honours science. On top of that, I'm not doing well in ANY of my courses. None of them are bird courses, and even though I expected most of them to be hard, they are surprisingly exceeding my expectations in difficulty, thus defeating my previously undefeated emotional safeguard. I am gradually falling behind in all of my readings, assignments, and practice questions, and I'm too sick and drugged up to make any considerable progress in a time-efficient manner. Just knowing this stresses me out like hell. To sum things up, life is not going well, but what else is new?
On the bright side, I have become less stingy with the utility bill and have turned on more lamps in my room. Now I can happily clickety clack away on my keyboard because I have finally found something substantial to really COMPLAIN about. :)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Christiemon, I choose you!
Type: Fire
Hp: Undefined
Attack: Excruciating
Defense: Impenetrable
Speed: Light is relatively slow
Weakness: stressed easily and slightly pessimistic
So I am currently trapped in my room writing up answers for practice interview questions in my PD Co-op preparatory course. I figured since I probably won't have time to post very often anymore, why not kill two birds with one stone? So...For the "classic question" I went with:
Hp: Undefined
Attack: Excruciating
Defense: Impenetrable
Speed: Light is relatively slow
Weakness: stressed easily and slightly pessimistic
So I am currently trapped in my room writing up answers for practice interview questions in my PD Co-op preparatory course. I figured since I probably won't have time to post very often anymore, why not kill two birds with one stone? So...For the "classic question" I went with:
4. Describe one of your weaknesses.
One of my characteristic weaknesses is that I get stressed easily and am slightly pessimistic. This becomes evident in situations where I have too many tasks in progress at once or I am preparing for a significant event. However, I believe this trait is an essential motivator for some of my most effective work habits. Since I often get worried and overwhelmed by ongoing academic projects or extracurricular events, I motivate myself to tackle one item at a time in an organized fashion by writing down due dates, preparing checklists, and aiming to complete tasks well before the deadline. Often, if something seems too overwhelming, I manage to calm myself down and focus my thoughts better by simplifying concepts, prioritizing my activities, and preparing for the worst case scenario. Not only does my pessimism help me to be technically and emotionally prepared for the various outcomes, but it is also a way to push myself to exceed the standard expectations of any task I undertake.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
To date or not to date...
A recent observation that I have made about my friends and peers is that most of them are anxious to get a girl/boyfriend, otherwise they feel like they're not good enough and develop self-esteem issues. By pining over this holy object of affection, it often takes up the better part of each day, and it also takes away from the enjoyment one can obtain by casually spending time with close friends.
NOTE: IF YOU HAVEN'T YET NOTICED FROM MY PREVIOUS POSTS, I AM A HATER, AND I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT'S LYRICS FOR THIS VERY REASON. HER SONGS ARE ALWAYS ABOUT THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T GET THE GUY, AND IT ENCOURAGES HER FANS TO ADOPT THIS RIDICULOUSLY ROMANTICIZED VIEW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE. BE STRONG AND RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO BECOME ANOTHER ONE OF HER BLIND FOLLOWERS!
Now that I got that out of my system...Admittedly, it's really fun to have a flirtacious conversation with the opposite sex or just enjoy being with people who you can be EXTRA friendly with, but does that mean you HAVE to be in a relationship when you can experience the same things being single? Personally, if I had to choose whether I'd rather be single or in a relationship, I would have to say SINGLE. Hmm, now let me try to explain why I feel this way...
To be honest, my whole point is not really about why being single is good, but rather why the alternative is inconvenient. When you're single, you have TONS of freedom. You don't have to worry about: making your sweetie jealous, scheduling your significant other before other things, and you have more control over life decisions that you have to make. My biggest problem with the facebook "In a Relationship" status is that I disapprove of the majority of the modern motivations for dating. This includes being lonely and needing a regular companion, hormonal needs that people are tired of fulfilling themselves, social status (e.g. choosing a hot, smart, or rich partner), dating someone you don't really know yet, or even the classic warm, fuzzy feelings that just aren't strong enough to warrant initiating a serious relationship. Obviously there are more unfortunate reasons why people get involved in relationships, but getting involved with someone for any of these reasons is when the relationship horrifically turns more into a JOB.
People looking for a little fun or quality time from a member of the opposite sex may think what they need is a relationship...you're WRONG! What you are looking for is friends with benefits or just a loyal confidant, NOT a relationship. Even if you manage to establish a wonderful relationship with someone you feel is "the one", it's definitely nothing like the movies make it out to be. After all, the chase and pre-relationship suspense is actually quite anticlimactic, and relationships don't actually turn out to be heaven on earth with a romantic kiss at the end that fades to black. In reality, getting into a relationship is like getting a pet (---NOT that you should treat your partner like a pet! -_-"). It seems all fun and romantic before and at the beginning, but once you've enjoyed it for a while, you begin to learn more about the responsibilities and less pleasant aspects about dating. Sure, there are good moments, but there are also lots of time-consuming bumps and twists in the road. A major example I can think of is fighting. When couples fight, the argument may eventually cease, but the underlying problem often goes unresolved. Just the fact that your adversary is YOUR PARTNER, you both feel obligated to apologize and salvage the relationship as soon as possible just so you can return to that beautiful happy place. Why else do you think there is always something you can tell friends but not your partner? People want to avoid conflict. You read it in novels, see it on the tube--everyone wants to have that picture perfect relationship with their mate and display how happy they are along with their whitewashed fence, little house on the hill, and perfectly united family. Well, this is only part of the crap you'll be putting yourself through from the moment you decide to engage in a serious relationship.
I also disagree with people not wanting to ask out friends that they have known for a while JUST because they "don't want to ruin a friendship". I think this is complete and utter bs, as long as they are not already in a relationship. In my opinion, it's just an excuse for not wanting to embarrass themselves in front of a friend who they already care about. Besides, if they are a sincere, true friend, in the worst case scenario where the relationship turns sour, it shouldn't matter how they reject or break up with you. Things aren't going to be anymore uncomfortable or awkward than if you secretly love them while witnessing them get involved with a stranger who randomly comes into the picture. In fact, if you are close enough friends for these feelings to be true, chances are, they are already aware of your affections. Going back to my opinion about friendship, you can always make a new friend if the old ones are foolish enough to leave you for something so petty.
Having had this single vs. relationship discussion with several troubled friends already, the common argument against my opinion is, "Well, that's easy for you to say because you're already IN a relationship!" I'm not saying that EVERYONE should stay single, but people shouldn't be TRYING to get into a relationship. If you really want a complex thing like love to work out, you should let your relationship develop naturally and really get to know someone before you even THINK about dating them. This will save you a lot of time, effort, and potential heartbreak. Only once your heart--NOT YOUR HORMONES--really tells you that your relationship stands a long-term chance should you make a move. To be honest, I actually encourage "exploring your options", taking time to flirt with and get to know other individuals, making no promises, and just having fun. Relationships are actually tiring, often frustrating, and require a lot of hard work. Bask in the glory of the single life for as long as possible until you find someone who makes it worthwhile to get yourself tangled in the complexities of love and relationships.
Application of Economic Concept: Marginal utility > Marginal cost, otherwise NO PURCHASE!
DISCLAIMER: I am not encouraging playboys, whores, or anything else of the sort...but quite possibly condoning them.
NOTE: IF YOU HAVEN'T YET NOTICED FROM MY PREVIOUS POSTS, I AM A HATER, AND I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT'S LYRICS FOR THIS VERY REASON. HER SONGS ARE ALWAYS ABOUT THE GIRL WHO DOESN'T GET THE GUY, AND IT ENCOURAGES HER FANS TO ADOPT THIS RIDICULOUSLY ROMANTICIZED VIEW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE. BE STRONG AND RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO BECOME ANOTHER ONE OF HER BLIND FOLLOWERS!
Now that I got that out of my system...Admittedly, it's really fun to have a flirtacious conversation with the opposite sex or just enjoy being with people who you can be EXTRA friendly with, but does that mean you HAVE to be in a relationship when you can experience the same things being single? Personally, if I had to choose whether I'd rather be single or in a relationship, I would have to say SINGLE. Hmm, now let me try to explain why I feel this way...
To be honest, my whole point is not really about why being single is good, but rather why the alternative is inconvenient. When you're single, you have TONS of freedom. You don't have to worry about: making your sweetie jealous, scheduling your significant other before other things, and you have more control over life decisions that you have to make. My biggest problem with the facebook "In a Relationship" status is that I disapprove of the majority of the modern motivations for dating. This includes being lonely and needing a regular companion, hormonal needs that people are tired of fulfilling themselves, social status (e.g. choosing a hot, smart, or rich partner), dating someone you don't really know yet, or even the classic warm, fuzzy feelings that just aren't strong enough to warrant initiating a serious relationship. Obviously there are more unfortunate reasons why people get involved in relationships, but getting involved with someone for any of these reasons is when the relationship horrifically turns more into a JOB.
People looking for a little fun or quality time from a member of the opposite sex may think what they need is a relationship...you're WRONG! What you are looking for is friends with benefits or just a loyal confidant, NOT a relationship. Even if you manage to establish a wonderful relationship with someone you feel is "the one", it's definitely nothing like the movies make it out to be. After all, the chase and pre-relationship suspense is actually quite anticlimactic, and relationships don't actually turn out to be heaven on earth with a romantic kiss at the end that fades to black. In reality, getting into a relationship is like getting a pet (---NOT that you should treat your partner like a pet! -_-"). It seems all fun and romantic before and at the beginning, but once you've enjoyed it for a while, you begin to learn more about the responsibilities and less pleasant aspects about dating. Sure, there are good moments, but there are also lots of time-consuming bumps and twists in the road. A major example I can think of is fighting. When couples fight, the argument may eventually cease, but the underlying problem often goes unresolved. Just the fact that your adversary is YOUR PARTNER, you both feel obligated to apologize and salvage the relationship as soon as possible just so you can return to that beautiful happy place. Why else do you think there is always something you can tell friends but not your partner? People want to avoid conflict. You read it in novels, see it on the tube--everyone wants to have that picture perfect relationship with their mate and display how happy they are along with their whitewashed fence, little house on the hill, and perfectly united family. Well, this is only part of the crap you'll be putting yourself through from the moment you decide to engage in a serious relationship.
I also disagree with people not wanting to ask out friends that they have known for a while JUST because they "don't want to ruin a friendship". I think this is complete and utter bs, as long as they are not already in a relationship. In my opinion, it's just an excuse for not wanting to embarrass themselves in front of a friend who they already care about. Besides, if they are a sincere, true friend, in the worst case scenario where the relationship turns sour, it shouldn't matter how they reject or break up with you. Things aren't going to be anymore uncomfortable or awkward than if you secretly love them while witnessing them get involved with a stranger who randomly comes into the picture. In fact, if you are close enough friends for these feelings to be true, chances are, they are already aware of your affections. Going back to my opinion about friendship, you can always make a new friend if the old ones are foolish enough to leave you for something so petty.
Having had this single vs. relationship discussion with several troubled friends already, the common argument against my opinion is, "Well, that's easy for you to say because you're already IN a relationship!" I'm not saying that EVERYONE should stay single, but people shouldn't be TRYING to get into a relationship. If you really want a complex thing like love to work out, you should let your relationship develop naturally and really get to know someone before you even THINK about dating them. This will save you a lot of time, effort, and potential heartbreak. Only once your heart--NOT YOUR HORMONES--really tells you that your relationship stands a long-term chance should you make a move. To be honest, I actually encourage "exploring your options", taking time to flirt with and get to know other individuals, making no promises, and just having fun. Relationships are actually tiring, often frustrating, and require a lot of hard work. Bask in the glory of the single life for as long as possible until you find someone who makes it worthwhile to get yourself tangled in the complexities of love and relationships.
Application of Economic Concept: Marginal utility > Marginal cost, otherwise NO PURCHASE!
DISCLAIMER: I am not encouraging playboys, whores, or anything else of the sort...but quite possibly condoning them.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Another reason to stress
2A COURSES + a bit of personal insight about each:
BIOL 130L: Took this course in my 1A term. Hopefully, I do better on the lab, even though I don't even remember stuff that I learned in my 1B term.
AFM 123: Accounting for Managers or something hahaha...hopefully my one easy course.
PHYS 111: basic first year physics that I just managed to fit into my schedule since I changed from Bio specialization to non-specialization--now I can keep dentistry an option. YAYs all around EXCEPT for the fact that I didn't even take grade 11 physics... + LAB...oh god.
CHEM 266: Organic Chemistry. Enough said. + LAB
SCBUS 223: uhh...I hated SCBUSS 122 or SCIBUS 123. Learned close to nothing. Full of presentations and group projects. You never know, this one could be...different...or...maybe...not...
STAT 202: Yeah, so I got a 69 on my first data management test, and I still don't know why I got some of those questions wrong.
It's gonna be a great term.
BIOL 130L: Took this course in my 1A term. Hopefully, I do better on the lab, even though I don't even remember stuff that I learned in my 1B term.
AFM 123: Accounting for Managers or something hahaha...hopefully my one easy course.
PHYS 111: basic first year physics that I just managed to fit into my schedule since I changed from Bio specialization to non-specialization--now I can keep dentistry an option. YAYs all around EXCEPT for the fact that I didn't even take grade 11 physics... + LAB...oh god.
CHEM 266: Organic Chemistry. Enough said. + LAB
SCBUS 223: uhh...I hated SCBUSS 122 or SCIBUS 123. Learned close to nothing. Full of presentations and group projects. You never know, this one could be...different...or...maybe...not...
STAT 202: Yeah, so I got a 69 on my first data management test, and I still don't know why I got some of those questions wrong.
It's gonna be a great term.
Summer Dreams Ripped at the Seams
Until last year, I always used to get excited to start school. I felt the summer was boring and lonely because my parents usually sent me and Robert to sports, arts, or music camps...most of the time the kids here are immature and often mean. On other occasions, my parents would send us over to my grandparents' where we would just sit around watching TV all day. It always started fun, but I ended up with a massive headache from my uncontrollable addiction. I always thought, "Summer sucks; I want to go back to school and see my friends..." Now, a little older and wiser, I know better.
Even last year, I was excited to start my first year of university. Not because I was eager to learn, meet new people, or any other cheesy reason--actually, my family was annoying me. My parents were nagging me about the same things over and over, blaming me for things that weren't my fault, and my brother was annoying the hell out of me, even MORE than usual. For me, first year was an escape from my house. In fact, I only went home for commencement, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Reading Week, and after school was over. The few times I phoned home were to ask for a new printer cartridge or for medical advice and supplies when I was majorly sick. Poor grades, getting frustrated with my friends or coworkers, or bad dreams--experiences that I would usually vent to my parents, those kind of conversations I burdened my roommate and a few friends with.
This year, is already starting off totally different. In my entire life, I have never dreaded going to school this badly as I do this year. I don't really know why. I suppose what my friend Amy said about this topic is true, "You know what to expect." University is a tough transition for me because I have to push myself to study and obtain decent grades, eat properly, support myself, and maintain balance in my extracurricular activities all at the same time. All my life, my parents have provided a comfortable, sheltered lifestyle for me, and suddenly I'm being pushed into the middle of the ocean with a tiny rowboat and a pair of oars. You know what sucks the most about all this? This is pretty much what the rest of REAL life is going to be like...survival. Childhood actually isn't a fair thing. It's so innocent, sweet, and protected then it just gets taken away from us in a heartbeat. It's a really poor representation of what life is like, and it leaves us unprepared for the real challenges to come.
I admire my parents' hard work and wonder how they ever got through this? Then I remember, oh yeah, we're a more competitive and spoiled generation. They received sufficient "survival training" from a young age by having to help out more in the kitchen and having to take on whatever job they could find to help support their families.
I don't know how people can be excited for university until they've actually experienced it. In fact, I find it kind of annoying, no offense to all my first year friends. Living in res...Sure it's a great way to meet people, but it still protects us from what living away from home is really like. As my friends and I discovered in frosh week, it feels just like camp. You get up, go to your "activities", do whatever you want whenever you want (often in groups), and walk into the cafeteria where you help yourself to whatever food is on the menu. In reality, university is a life-sized preview of the challenges to come later on in REAL LIFE. Until a person is living entirely on their own hard-earned money and survival skills (e.g. cooking), life hasn't really begun, so don't get too comfortable yet.
School hasn't even started and already I'm stressed about maintaining the house, improving my grades, getting enough exercise, honouring a balanced diet, and landing a co-op job. To accomplish these goals even half-decently, I'm going to require a lot of motivation, time, and talent. On the bright side, being able to appreciate all that my parents have done for me up to this point has enabled me to miss them. I haven't left yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to realize their absence during my studies more significantly than last year. Even if I manage to survive year 2 of hell, I still have to fight my way into whatever decent career I can establish for myself--not to mention all this is to be somehow accomplished on my own?! So much to do and so little confidence.
Even last year, I was excited to start my first year of university. Not because I was eager to learn, meet new people, or any other cheesy reason--actually, my family was annoying me. My parents were nagging me about the same things over and over, blaming me for things that weren't my fault, and my brother was annoying the hell out of me, even MORE than usual. For me, first year was an escape from my house. In fact, I only went home for commencement, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Reading Week, and after school was over. The few times I phoned home were to ask for a new printer cartridge or for medical advice and supplies when I was majorly sick. Poor grades, getting frustrated with my friends or coworkers, or bad dreams--experiences that I would usually vent to my parents, those kind of conversations I burdened my roommate and a few friends with.
This year, is already starting off totally different. In my entire life, I have never dreaded going to school this badly as I do this year. I don't really know why. I suppose what my friend Amy said about this topic is true, "You know what to expect." University is a tough transition for me because I have to push myself to study and obtain decent grades, eat properly, support myself, and maintain balance in my extracurricular activities all at the same time. All my life, my parents have provided a comfortable, sheltered lifestyle for me, and suddenly I'm being pushed into the middle of the ocean with a tiny rowboat and a pair of oars. You know what sucks the most about all this? This is pretty much what the rest of REAL life is going to be like...survival. Childhood actually isn't a fair thing. It's so innocent, sweet, and protected then it just gets taken away from us in a heartbeat. It's a really poor representation of what life is like, and it leaves us unprepared for the real challenges to come.
I admire my parents' hard work and wonder how they ever got through this? Then I remember, oh yeah, we're a more competitive and spoiled generation. They received sufficient "survival training" from a young age by having to help out more in the kitchen and having to take on whatever job they could find to help support their families.
I don't know how people can be excited for university until they've actually experienced it. In fact, I find it kind of annoying, no offense to all my first year friends. Living in res...Sure it's a great way to meet people, but it still protects us from what living away from home is really like. As my friends and I discovered in frosh week, it feels just like camp. You get up, go to your "activities", do whatever you want whenever you want (often in groups), and walk into the cafeteria where you help yourself to whatever food is on the menu. In reality, university is a life-sized preview of the challenges to come later on in REAL LIFE. Until a person is living entirely on their own hard-earned money and survival skills (e.g. cooking), life hasn't really begun, so don't get too comfortable yet.
School hasn't even started and already I'm stressed about maintaining the house, improving my grades, getting enough exercise, honouring a balanced diet, and landing a co-op job. To accomplish these goals even half-decently, I'm going to require a lot of motivation, time, and talent. On the bright side, being able to appreciate all that my parents have done for me up to this point has enabled me to miss them. I haven't left yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to realize their absence during my studies more significantly than last year. Even if I manage to survive year 2 of hell, I still have to fight my way into whatever decent career I can establish for myself--not to mention all this is to be somehow accomplished on my own?! So much to do and so little confidence.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I'm Breaking the Habit Tonight
If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to cover things that I included in my profile description, so that I can shorten it. Today's topic is habits throughout my growth. WOW do I sound like some kind of lecturer...
Anyone who knows me or has ever seen me in person knows that I have no nails. Sadly, I am the worst nail biter I know--and by worst I mean addicted. I have been able to cut the habit for about three months at a time. During those few months of sweet (but not taken for granted) victory, I put on lots of nail polish and do my fake homemade french manicures. Then the vicious disease comes right back. Not that nails taste good either, but I just can't stop. I bite when I'm nervous, when I'm preoccupied with something else, sometimes I even stop responding on MSN because I can't type with one hand on the keyboard and one hand in my mouth--I bite pretty much whenever I'm not fully engrossed in something or even when I'm TOO engrossed. -_-" Basically whenever, and it's a pretty serious thing I guess, especially when there are serious germs going around (e.g. H1N1 virus). My parents are always nagging me to "take your finger out of your mouth...Now away from your face. blahblahblah..." I don't know if this is part of my extremely mild OCD or what, but whenever I look at my nails, they don't look symmetrical, there's always a little hangnail sticking out, or some other reason to coat my fingers with saliva. Yeah, gross, I know. If you see me with my finger in my mouth, slap my hand then hand me a nail clipper pronto or else it'll just keep going back in.
Like any other human being, I also had weird habits when I was younger. From what my parents tell me, my brother used to run into walls...explains his brilliance---or lack thereof... Anyways, I assume most people had a cherished "blankie". I LOVED my blankie (or at least from what my parents tell me, seeing as how I remember almost nothing from my childhood). Apparently, I LOVED it so much that my parents had to throw it out because I was chewing it up. My mom said I cried when blankie was captured and lost to me forever. At least he's moved onto a better place now.
A few years older (thought not sure about maturer), I began to eat my hair.
Hold on, I wasn't some weird kid who actually DIGESTED my hair, but my side bangs were JUST long enough to reach my mouth. I used to put that in my mouth, and it would get all crusty. Don't ask why I did that; it's probably because my brain had not yet fully formed at such a young age.
Also, I used to lick my lips a lot, and my mouth was always dry, itchy, and swollen. Yeah, I'm a pretty gross human being, I know. My dad ended up bringing home some serious lip cream. No, it wasn't lip balm or any of that amateur stuff; this was LIP CREAM...some ointment that I had to smear on my lips. After a while, my lips sort of went back to normal, but I had all this greasy stuff on my mouth. It didn't even taste that good. :P
Anyways, a common trend that I realized in all my different habits is that I like putting things in/irritating my mouth. Maybe this is somehow related to my love of eating. Who knows why, I'm just a weirdo?
Anyone who knows me or has ever seen me in person knows that I have no nails. Sadly, I am the worst nail biter I know--and by worst I mean addicted. I have been able to cut the habit for about three months at a time. During those few months of sweet (but not taken for granted) victory, I put on lots of nail polish and do my fake homemade french manicures. Then the vicious disease comes right back. Not that nails taste good either, but I just can't stop. I bite when I'm nervous, when I'm preoccupied with something else, sometimes I even stop responding on MSN because I can't type with one hand on the keyboard and one hand in my mouth--I bite pretty much whenever I'm not fully engrossed in something or even when I'm TOO engrossed. -_-" Basically whenever, and it's a pretty serious thing I guess, especially when there are serious germs going around (e.g. H1N1 virus). My parents are always nagging me to "take your finger out of your mouth...Now away from your face. blahblahblah..." I don't know if this is part of my extremely mild OCD or what, but whenever I look at my nails, they don't look symmetrical, there's always a little hangnail sticking out, or some other reason to coat my fingers with saliva. Yeah, gross, I know. If you see me with my finger in my mouth, slap my hand then hand me a nail clipper pronto or else it'll just keep going back in.
Like any other human being, I also had weird habits when I was younger. From what my parents tell me, my brother used to run into walls...explains his brilliance---or lack thereof... Anyways, I assume most people had a cherished "blankie". I LOVED my blankie (or at least from what my parents tell me, seeing as how I remember almost nothing from my childhood). Apparently, I LOVED it so much that my parents had to throw it out because I was chewing it up. My mom said I cried when blankie was captured and lost to me forever. At least he's moved onto a better place now.
A few years older (thought not sure about maturer), I began to eat my hair.
Hold on, I wasn't some weird kid who actually DIGESTED my hair, but my side bangs were JUST long enough to reach my mouth. I used to put that in my mouth, and it would get all crusty. Don't ask why I did that; it's probably because my brain had not yet fully formed at such a young age.
Also, I used to lick my lips a lot, and my mouth was always dry, itchy, and swollen. Yeah, I'm a pretty gross human being, I know. My dad ended up bringing home some serious lip cream. No, it wasn't lip balm or any of that amateur stuff; this was LIP CREAM...some ointment that I had to smear on my lips. After a while, my lips sort of went back to normal, but I had all this greasy stuff on my mouth. It didn't even taste that good. :P
Anyways, a common trend that I realized in all my different habits is that I like putting things in/irritating my mouth. Maybe this is somehow related to my love of eating. Who knows why, I'm just a weirdo?
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