Does anorexia make you nervosa?

There's a wide spectrum of girls' appetites and attitudes about how they want their eating capability to be perceived by others. I'm referring mainly to the quantity of food. Some girls just have smaller appetites. Some girls force themselves to eat less in order to sculpt themselves into their idea of their own "perfect body". Some just eat to their heart's content as long as it's reasonably healthy, or they're able to compensate for the caloric intake through other means (e.g. exercise). But the one type of girl that has stood out to me lately is the one that, weirdly enough, wants people to think they eat a lot--often more than they actually do. It's kind of weird actually...I don't know why but for some reason it reminds me of reverse discrimination. Anyway, worst analogy but let me attempt to explain where I think this "big eater" mentality comes from. 

Many girls who "watch what they eat" are doing so to avoid "getting fat". As you know such situations may progress to the point of a girl becoming anorexic (diagnosis: anorexia nervosa). Even when it doesn't, the comment always comes out in one form or another (jokingly or not): "Omg, that girl is so anorexic" or "How come you don't eat a lot? Are you anorexic?" Sometimes I worry this awareness (great!) of the disease has actually created more of a stigma (not so great...) around it; thus some girls don't want people to think they have smaller appetites (because God forbid that would make you an "anorexic") and make a show of how much they eat. This is one rationale I believe to be behind this. Another one may be that this "big eater" mentality is a passive aggressive form of bragging. A lot of the girls that engage in this behaviour are quite skinny, so I believe they adopt this behaviour to make it obvious that they eat a lot but still manage to maintain their image. Think about it--how many plus size girls with big appetites aggressively publicize how much they eat? 

I guess I made this post to rant about one of the appetite types that have been bugging me lately. I can't even blame these girls entirely because their behaviour is, I believe, a result of societal circumstance. I personally can vouch for the societal behaviours shaping the "big eater" attitude because I have felt the need to adopt it from time to time. 

One time a guy was trying to point out (in a mocking tone) how little I was eating at a sushi buffet saying that I don't eat anything and that he eats sooo much more than me. There are several things I'd like to point out about this story:
A. I'm not a huge fan of sushi, so obviously I'm not going to go all out eating. Of course when people like a certain food, they'll often magically have more room to eat it--EXHIBIT A: DESSERT.
B. Many times people mistakenly assume I eat less than them because they continue eating longer than me. That is flawed thinking because I'm a relatively quick eater, so comparing the end times of our meals says nothing about who ate more. 
C. I pointed out a past situation where we both ordered medium pizzas from the same restaurant at the same time where I finished my whole pizza in one sitting and he ate maybe 5 out of the 8 slices. When I brought up this incident, his response was that he could have eaten it all if he wanted to. Even in the unlikely scenario where that may have been true, the fact that I was hungry enough to eat my whole pizza but he wasn't indicates that I have a larger appetite. 
D.  Calm yourself, it's not a contest. Even if it was, males tend to be physically larger than females on the average, so your picking a fight with me over this is really quite pathetic. 

Anyway, I'm surprised myself that a guy is involved in such a scenario. I would think that girls are usually worse at making other girls feel bad about their eating habits; that's just how girls are. I think it relates to the motivations for why girls judge other girls and the comments they make. Females like to see how they compare to other females and because of our sensitive side we may harbour feelings of envy that come out as potentially passive-aggressive comments in order to feel better about ourselves. 

Basically, what I can glean from my reflection of this attitude and the forces that have shaped it is that we need to stop commenting on how much people, particularly girls, eat. Especially at our weight-gaining age, it can be a bit of a sensitive topic, and people have their personal reasons for their own eating habits. It's juvenile to make it a contest or pass judgement.

Vertically challenged and full of C6H12O6

Does it say something about us if...

Gangnam style can break into the North American market through some ridiculous Youtube video (of which  most people don't even know/care about the true meaning), while other half-decent, hardworking international artists have to struggle for it. I'm thinking Wonder Girls and Boa but I'm certain there are tons more.

Extreme lack of talent (e.g. Rebecca Black) can become more popular than slightly above-average talent through a general eagerness to criticize and troll.

Professionals (e.g doctors, teachers, athletes - namely HOCKEY PLAYERS) are fighting tooth and nail to maintain their (in some cases, ridiculously high) pay while there are many recent graduates and aspiring professionals eager to get even their toe in the door. We need professionals who are actually going to contribute to the profession  positively instead of worrying about how much they're paid and throwing around their weight with overestimated self-importance. Here is my concerning question: does that happen to all of us once we get into that cushy position?

Taylor Oh-So-Slow

Yes, I'm still hating on Taylor Swift. Her lyrics have always aggravated me. I do have to (regretfully) admit that I have 2 of her songs on my iPod because the tunes are pretty catchy. Other than that, I would not consider myself a fan in any regard. 

Recent minor aggravation #1: her most recent (I think?) song - We will never ever ever get back together (or whatever it's called). To start with, that's a horrible song title. Second, how did that song even make it to #1 anywhere ever? It sounds like it can't decide whether it's going to be slow or an upbeat song they would play at a club. There's a reason that type of song hasn't been done before. No, it doesn't make you unique, Taylor; it plain sounds bad. Third, the video was pointless and super been-there-done-that--particularly by a REAL MUSICIAN (i.e. Avril Lavigne). The black "nerdy" glasses and the walking around with attitude thing has been done in her Girlfriend video. Try coming up with something original for a change. Now THAT would be something original for her.

#2: The worn-out facade she tries to paint over herself in her lyrics and videos. 
"But she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts...
She wears high heels; I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers"
Most of her videos portray her as the plain overlooked girl stuck in the friend zone. As much as I hate the girl, I have to admit she's above average looking--after all she IS a celebrity. Anyway, the point is she can't really identify with that type of girl. Why is she pretending to? Two words describe this perfectly for me: Marketing ploy. That's how Taylor became big. She pretended to empathize with the majority of the female population's problems. I don't find her voice outstanding or anything, and she has a pretty annoying personality as shown in interviews and in the movie Valentines Day (where I'm pretty sure she's not acting). 

#3: Pretty much a continuation of #2. Her recent scandal as shown on the front page of celebrity gossip magazines, she was dating some guy and was caught cheating on him with his cousin. How classy, Taylor, but so unsurprising.

Something is seriously wrong with me because I really enjoy writing posts like these. Hate rant over.

You look like a monkey and you smell like one too

Christiemon
DOB: March 32nd, 1991

Side Note: As a friend pointed out, Christiemon admittedly DOES imply digimon more than pokemon. However, pokemon names are all random, so the only way I could make a pokemon reference was to mention factors of the gameboy game and the "mon" at the end. Please excuse this minor technicality, dear pokemon fans.

My least favourite day of the year is my birthday (as listed above). Apparently, normal people like to advertise their birthdays (e.g. posting it on facebook as openly as their name) or even include a countdown in their instant messaging name. I am the complete opposite; I have avoided posting it anywhere and have forbidden the select knowledgeable few from telling anyone. Don't even think about asking them; they're protecting it with their lives...wellll, in case you wish to harass them, here are a few of the individuals:

-Katie
-Alex
-Irene
-my parents (hopefully)
+ other less tactful members of the cult that would be risky to list :)

Why the secrecy, people ask?

1. I don't really like being the centre of attention or anything, and that's pretty much the purpose of birthdays--celebrating someone because they were born (i.e. my nightmare). Besides, most renditions of Happy Birthday I've heard so far were terrible, how is that pleasant for the birthday boy/girl?

2. I have a problem with presents. I don't like choosing gifts for people, and I'm rather terrible at it. Hence, I feel really bad if people remember my birthday and happen to get me a gift or even buy me a meal. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm a lazy witch who hates shopping for gifts. If you get me something, I'll feel obliged to get you something in return. If you were a true friend, you wouldn't want to subject me that torture, would you?

--AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO APPLY MY REASON IN REVERSE because if I get you something, trust me, it's not because I'm being nice, but because I actually want to buy you something (see my Play...nice? post). I'm mean, selfish and only fulfilling my desire to treat you to some monetary expression of our relationship because I can't get it down in words or actions quite as succinctly.

Btw, I also dislike birthday parties because social convention demands that you attend a birthday party with an equally pleasing gift for the honoured host. Phooey, it sucks that these gatherings always have to be so fun--a real dilemma, I tell you.

3. I'm terrible at remembering birthdays. Only a few losers in my life have been unfortunate enough to have their birthday dates stuck in my head. However, even if I KNOW the dates, I have great difficulties remembering to wish the appropriate individual well on the appropriate days.

4. If I publish my birthday everywhere and anyone who happens to check facebook/MSN at the right time, in the right mood, would probably refer to one of the following templates:

1. The classic: "Happy (optional: [insert number] th/st) Birthday, [insert name]!"
2. The snarky: "[insert old reference]" (e.g. Another year older and wiser, eh?)
3. The boring one: "Have a good one!"
4. The clever: "You're finally [insert number]...[insert some sort of drinking/legal reference]"

Admittedly, I am also guilty of posting these kinds of birthday wishes to others on occasion...but I feel obliged to wish these people hbd because clearly, that's what they want, if they're publishing their birthday on facebook. You know me, I just LOOVEEE pleasing people...

Sometimes you get people wishing you happy birthday who probably don't actually feel like wishing you happy birthday, but they add in at least a few exclamation points anyway. I don't know, I just don't feel right forcing everyone to feel happy about my birth...I'm not even that happy about it, why should I ask you be?

And that, dear reader, is the answer to that mystery.

P.S. Jennifer, if you're still reading, my birthday isn't actually April 1st, and I'm sorry for misleading you! :(

(Spring) Showers

So the weather these days is lovely, but someone told me we are getting snow this weekend. That is terribly unsettling, but I won't let it spoil my mood for the moment. Anyways, that's not really what this post is about.

Here we go: Showers. I'm sorry if you catch me on the wrong day, but I don't shower nearly as often as social convention demands. Typically I shower about once every few days, but only a few years ago was I informed that "normal" people shower daily. Basically, the times whenever my hair gets gross dictate when I take a shower --and here we go back on the path of unfounded opinions, gotta love it...

So why are my showers such a rare and miraculous event? Simple. I don't really feel the need to shower. If I just played soccer or sat in a really hot environment sweating my salts out, then I will be disgusted into taking a shower. Of course, I have to understand that most guys have odour issues, perhaps an effect of their manly pheromones, but what about girls? A lot of girls who just sit around looking pretty--don't really engage in any activity that causes them to break even a drop of sweat--insist on taking a daily shower. WHY? People are always talking about ways to save energy, water, resources, etc. WHY NOT start with hot shower water? Personally, I feel that people can still look good by cleaning themselves up without a daily full-length shower. I hear that many girls take showers without washing their hair--what is the point of this? Showering has evolved from being a simple hygienic survival instinct to another mechanical routine encoded into the great social convention Bible. Can we not tolerate a bit of discomfort everyday? In fact, some of the showers that girls take to just "rinse themselves" take longer than the duration of my full shower (complete with hair washing). If you're not willing to tolerate the minor discomfort, can you at least shorten the time you are spending on this "unofficial" shower?

Understandably, people may argue issues of hygiene and personal health, but I'm sorry that just doesn't cut it for me. You can DEFINITELY survive without a daily shower without contracting some kind of bacterial disease/infection. Looking at the bigger picture, showers are a definite luxury. People survive all around the world by using a little tub of water to clean themselves. Why can't we sacrifice even a few showers to make the ecological difference we so ardently whine about?

Once again, this is just another one of my ridiculous opinions; if you don't like this disturbing revelation about myself, I'm not forcing you to be my friend (refer to BF...F post)--just want to let you know I won't be the only one who stinks.

My Koreanization Progress

As promised, this post is pretty much dedicated to my beloved ex-roomie Myunnie. ^-^

I was born in Canada, and my parents spoke English around me as I was growing up. Naturally, that became the ONE language I could speak fluently. From first glance/impression, most people assume I'm Chinese, even other Koreans. It's a little sad, especially when I have to tell them I'm Korean but I have no proof other than the fact that I have kimchi in my fridge. In fact, my last name is the name of one of the first Chinese dynasties.

As stated in my profile description, I am pretty much the fakest Korean possible. I can't speak or understand it, and I can read the characters and sounds but not understand what it means. Pretty useful huh? At least I could read a Korean book to a blind Korean person...-_-" I have also never visited Korea--or any Asian country for that matter. My parents tried sending me to Saturday Korean school around grade 3 or something. Unfortunately, the other kids knew how to communicate in Korean pretty fluently already, so it was just to maintain their cultural connection and fluency. It wasn't really useful for people with zero Korean fluency like myself. In fact, there were some pretty scarring moments where we had to go up in front of the class and introduce ourselves in Korean. I pretty much said something really fast in English then sat down crying at my desk. Luckily, my mom let me quit by the end of grade 6. Good memories...-_-" Any of the reading/writing I currently know was taught at home by my grandma.

Another sad thing about not knowing Korean is that I can hardly communicate with my grandparents. Sure, I can understand basic things such as "eat lots" or "sit here", and they know bits of English, but that hardly constitutes a deep conversation. As far as I know, my family is almost entirely Korean. The only non-Korean I know of is the aunt that my uncle married. She is a happy, blonde German lady. In fact, they're having a baby in October, which I'm pretty excited about--I love children...in a non-pedophilic way.

I don't really know much about the Korean culture or language at all, except for some food dishes that are homemade or offered at restaurants. My Chinese friends seem to know more about the overall culture, especially since Korean music and media are pretty popular to people of the other Asian cultures (e.g. Big Bang, Wonder girls, after school, kkotboda namja, coffee prince, etc). For example, Myunnie taught me that Koreans have a plastic surgery fund saved up by their parents. When they reach a certain age, they can choose to either use it to alter their appearance or buy clothes for themselves. Apparently, a small face is also considered a standard of beauty in the Korean culture. I have no idea why...doesn't this also reduce the amount of space for (Asian-envied) big eyes to fit on one's head?

Anyways, thanks to my roomie, I got a chance to get a bit more in touch with my cultural roots simply by listening more to the music and experiencing the infamously addictive Korean dramas. We used to eagerly await the release of the latest BOF episode every Monday and Tuesday night. I pretty much gave up trying to get any work done on such distracting days of the week. Depending on our class schedules, we would race each other to watch the episode first, which I usually ended up winning (except when I had scibus group project meetings). There were also times where we both promised to wait for the other person's major summatives or projects to be finished before we watched an episode together. Good memories :) Admittedly, the season finale was kind of disappointing, but the real life memories that BOF brought me in residence will be cherished forever.

Even after the BOF craze, Myunnie convinced me to watch "My Name is Kim Sam Soon". Entertaining drama about a middle-aged, chubby baker who hopelessly pursues the restaurant owner. I couldn't help but to pull an all-nighter for that series and watch it all within...36 hours maybe? It's quite amazing how people can become such huge fans of Korean celebrities that they start to pick up literacy for the linguistic characters and understand small expressional phrases. Unfortunately for me, it means some of my Chinese friends know more Korean than I do, and they end up being the ones teaching me.

Sometimes it's convenient for me to include myself in the Korean culture, so I can reap the food benefits, distinguish myself from the large Chinese population, and carry on a fake Chinese-Korean rivalry with my friends. However, I am actually content to remain distant from my cultural roots and claim myself as a guiltless CBK.