I Love April

And no, I'm not in a wonderful part of my life, nor am I particularly partial to the current month; I'm referring to a different April. So here goes...If you know me, you know that I'm not a big fan of comedy--at least not in the sense that is enjoyed by most people. I'm not a huge fan of movies, shows, or even stand-up. With one distinctive exception: Parks and Recreation. 

I recently got into this show because one of my classmates, who is actually a stand-up comedian as a hobby/talent/part-time gig/not totally sure tbh, started posting a countdown of his favourite moments from the show as it was nearing its series finale. Even though I usually lack the attention span to click on video links, something compelled me to click on these ones--and I'm glad I did! I found these clips intriguing and got into the show. So I've been binge watching the show for roughly the past two months, and I finally finished it today--only a few minutes ago actually. It was great and surprisingly enjoyable/entertaining/touching in all the right ways. It not only appealed to my sense of humour but I also identified strongly with two of the major characters. 

My first pick is probably fairly predictable, as I get the impression that most fans of the show gravitate towards this character. I personally identify with his quirks and strive to exhibit many of his traits and values. It's...Ron Swanson. Maybe you guessed it, maybe you didn't; doesn't matter. We (yes, Ron and I) don't need your approval. We also like our privacy; most people don't make the cut for knowing personal things about us (e.g. birthday, how we feel, etc.). We are also both men of few words (specifically around people we aren't that close with), love meat, and share an aversion to small talk. I also strongly admire how he is a man of principle; he knows what he stands for and believes in and sticks to his guns, making exceptions (which is usually just a strategic navigation of loopholes) only for the most valued of people. As a general rule, I'm not a fan of mustaches--even less so of them on faces, but I'll make one for Ron Swanson. Call me Tammy 4, but who can resist that adorable giggle he does?

My second pick is, I'm guessing, one of the less popular characters of the show: April Ludgate-Dwyer. I also see aspects of myself in April. She is, of course, a hyperbolic stereotype, but I identify with the traits they are trying to suggest. Apathy, a dark sardonic sense of humour, disdain for social norms, lacking passion but still looking for a purpose, hesitation to express physical/verbal/any kind of affection, etc. April's basically my twin sister.

So...to be honest, I'm not totally sure what made this show click with me. It might be the right humour? Good acting? Strong personal identification with the characters? Who knows. Thank you, Parks and Recreation, for making the last two months of my crappy school-infested life a little not crappy, kind of. I love you. Or I hate you. But I love you.

P.S. I am somehow writing this the night before a practical and written removable denture exam--and a month of 9 final exams in 3 weeks, but that's okay. This satisfied feeling of completing this great show was too good to let die without some sort of tributary recognition.

"Niceness" is a Ninja

Something annoying that I've encountered a lot recently mostly through my academic setting is people trying to be "nice" or convince others that they are "nice". This has always been something that annoyed me, but lately it's presented itself in a specific form. 

Even if all evidence points to someone being a "bad" person or having strongly negative qualities, some people will say "Well, I STILL don't think they're a bad person..."--and here's the kicker--"...because they haven't done anything bad to me." This is the most selfish and pretentious thing that I've heard these "nice"-strivers say so far. Extreme analogy: The Nazis didn't do anything bad to ME; therefore, I can't hold anything against them. They're not bad people. 

Mid-Dental School Life Crisis

Not sure what happened over the break, but I feel less stressed and uptight about school since I came back after Christmas. I know school is still picking back up, but I feel like I'm also in a better mood and my hobbies are changing. Gone are the days where I got my daily guilty fix from online (usually MOBA) gaming and non-stop board gaming. Instead, I've been sleeping earlier, getting back into reading (non-academic literature FINALLY), watching a few strongly recommended TV shows and movies, and listening to Classical music. 

For those interested, a bit more detail on each of the changes I mentioned:
1. Sleeping earlier around 10:30 pm - 1 am (vs. my previous 2-4 am bedtime).
2. Reading up on classics I only ever heard about but never read. Currently working on Dickens' Tale of Two Cities. Reading this classic piece of literature serves as a sad reminder of how long it's been since I've read a decent book. Some of the language is hard to wrap my head around, so I have to give certain passages a few tries before it sinks in. I feel like my reading maturity/skills stopped around grade 12 (i.e. like most people, around the time high school English ended and university started); this is something I'd like to work on. This change is particularly refreshing because I feel like I'm getting back in touch with everything I love about language, words, and fresh storytelling. Also trying to get back into the habit of noting new/unfamiliar words that I come across to expand my own vocabulary (the growth of which probably also halted around grade 12).
3. I've found a few TV/movie buddies (one in particular!) that have very similar tastes. As a result, I've been exposed to goodies like There will be Blood, Cube, and Fargo (TV show). I also finally watched Sin City 2. I don't care what the ratings say; I loved it.
4. Classical music listening...this probably started when I visited my friend's website promoting his music school. Every time I hear him play a serious Classical piece, (it sounds crazy and totally cheesy, I know) I fall into a trance-like state. This experience reminds me of the days when I used to support my brother at his violin competitions and he pulled off an amazing performance that made me proud to be seen with him (for once, jk). I think I might be approaching that age that I was forewarned about all my life...where I regret not putting more effort into practicing piano. Everyone (especially my mom) taunted me with this forecast, and I'll never admit it to their faces, but I think it is finally coming true...now...? For those who don't know, fun fact: my favourite Classical composers are Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Rachmaninov (roughly in that order). Yeah, surprise (or not) I'm essentially a Romantic girl.

I can't even attribute these positive changes to the new year because I didn't make new year's resolutions, and I barely remember to write "2015" or "xx/xx/15" at the top of my notes. It all just feels very new and strange...is something wrong with me? Am I having some sort of personal crisis with oddly beneficial side effects? Maybe after school gets back into full swing, I'll just lapse back into the game-addicted, sleep-deprived slob I was/know/am comfortable with...I'll report back with whatever happens.

Yeah, this was a post of me complaining about how happy (?) I am...

Tis the Exam Season

I've never been much for the coffee shop culture, but with my recent difficulty studying at home I've been going to Starbucks and occasionally Williams to get some studying done. It's not me at my most productive but, considering my waning study habits, "productive" is a relative term now. I'm still struggling with school and trying my best to stay focused and motivated, and I suppose this behaviour is a step in the right direction. If you haven't heard me complain endlessly about the insane December schedule I had last year, here is this year's schedule to give you some idea of my pain (as well as an idea of the kind of courses I'm taking):
Dec 1 - Endodontics
3 - Diagnosis and Treatment Planning
4 - Fixed Prosthodontics
5 - Operative
9 - Practice Administration
10 - Periodontics
12 - Oral Diseases
15 - Anaesthesia
17 - Growth and Development

Random thoughts regarding the quotation "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I love lemons--in candy, in food, and occasionally by itself for a fun wake-me-upper haha. That said, this quote doesn't really hit home for me, but I'd much rather revise it to be: When life gives you coriander, spit it out. I warned you--random.

Does anorexia make you nervosa?

There's a wide spectrum of girls' appetites and attitudes about how they want their eating capability to be perceived by others. I'm referring mainly to the quantity of food. Some girls just have smaller appetites. Some girls force themselves to eat less in order to sculpt themselves into their idea of their own "perfect body". Some just eat to their heart's content as long as it's reasonably healthy, or they're able to compensate for the caloric intake through other means (e.g. exercise). But the one type of girl that has stood out to me lately is the one that, weirdly enough, wants people to think they eat a lot--often more than they actually do. It's kind of weird actually...I don't know why but for some reason it reminds me of reverse discrimination. Anyway, worst analogy but let me attempt to explain where I think this "big eater" mentality comes from. 

Many girls who "watch what they eat" are doing so to avoid "getting fat". As you know such situations may progress to the point of a girl becoming anorexic (diagnosis: anorexia nervosa). Even when it doesn't, the comment always comes out in one form or another (jokingly or not): "Omg, that girl is so anorexic" or "How come you don't eat a lot? Are you anorexic?" Sometimes I worry this awareness (great!) of the disease has actually created more of a stigma (not so great...) around it; thus some girls don't want people to think they have smaller appetites (because God forbid that would make you an "anorexic") and make a show of how much they eat. This is one rationale I believe to be behind this. Another one may be that this "big eater" mentality is a passive aggressive form of bragging. A lot of the girls that engage in this behaviour are quite skinny, so I believe they adopt this behaviour to make it obvious that they eat a lot but still manage to maintain their image. Think about it--how many plus size girls with big appetites aggressively publicize how much they eat? 

I guess I made this post to rant about one of the appetite types that have been bugging me lately. I can't even blame these girls entirely because their behaviour is, I believe, a result of societal circumstance. I personally can vouch for the societal behaviours shaping the "big eater" attitude because I have felt the need to adopt it from time to time. 

One time a guy was trying to point out (in a mocking tone) how little I was eating at a sushi buffet saying that I don't eat anything and that he eats sooo much more than me. There are several things I'd like to point out about this story:
A. I'm not a huge fan of sushi, so obviously I'm not going to go all out eating. Of course when people like a certain food, they'll often magically have more room to eat it--EXHIBIT A: DESSERT.
B. Many times people mistakenly assume I eat less than them because they continue eating longer than me. That is flawed thinking because I'm a relatively quick eater, so comparing the end times of our meals says nothing about who ate more. 
C. I pointed out a past situation where we both ordered medium pizzas from the same restaurant at the same time where I finished my whole pizza in one sitting and he ate maybe 5 out of the 8 slices. When I brought up this incident, his response was that he could have eaten it all if he wanted to. Even in the unlikely scenario where that may have been true, the fact that I was hungry enough to eat my whole pizza but he wasn't indicates that I have a larger appetite. 
D.  Calm yourself, it's not a contest. Even if it was, males tend to be physically larger than females on the average, so your picking a fight with me over this is really quite pathetic. 

Anyway, I'm surprised myself that a guy is involved in such a scenario. I would think that girls are usually worse at making other girls feel bad about their eating habits; that's just how girls are. I think it relates to the motivations for why girls judge other girls and the comments they make. Females like to see how they compare to other females and because of our sensitive side we may harbour feelings of envy that come out as potentially passive-aggressive comments in order to feel better about ourselves. 

Basically, what I can glean from my reflection of this attitude and the forces that have shaped it is that we need to stop commenting on how much people, particularly girls, eat. Especially at our weight-gaining age, it can be a bit of a sensitive topic, and people have their personal reasons for their own eating habits. It's juvenile to make it a contest or pass judgement.

So, embarrassing story...

If I haven't already told you about it, my school is having a lot of administrative problems that are making this difficult school year unnecessarily more difficult. I'd rather not go into the details because it's a complex problem that doesn't really make sense unless you're familiar with the typical goings-on of a dentistry program. Also, I've exhausted the topic by ranting it about it already to a select few unfortunate individuals. Anyway, the bottom line of all these issues is that I haven't been doing well on the assessments so far. I'm not talking about the "oh no I didn't get a 90" standard--I actually haven't been achieving the passing grade of 60 on almost every single practical/quiz/project that we've had so far this year. This frustrating situation has come about from a combination of: administrative problems with my school, lack of motivation/dedication, fatigue from a strenuous school schedule, and MOST IMPORTANTLY insufficient practice time to develop my skills and figure out hands-on things by getting my hands on things (you'd think this would be a given but it isn't). 

Anyway, this situation has been going on since the beginning of the school year. Today my mental/emotional state kind of decided it had reached its limit, and I broke down. Yes, that was my embarrassing moment of the day. After an unproductive drilling practice session (mind you, after a 12 hour school day spanning 8am-8pm), I guess I reached the last straw. As I waited for my roommate in the locker room, I reflected on how things were going (biiiig mistake), and I could kind of feel tears coming up so I left the locker room to sit somewhere more isolated. Unfortunately, this "isolated" area ended up being a popular exit for many of my classmates, and that's where the tears actually started to come out. I awkwardly tried to hide my face and play with the only thing I had on me (a hairclip), but some people saw me. I tried to brush it off because I didn't want to talk about it, and I got out of there as soon as I could. It was super embarrassing because I don't really like friends or acquaintances to see me cry. The worst part was that I felt silly crying over a situation that every single one of my other classmates were also dealing with, but I just couldn't stop.

When I eventually got home, I was still super embarrassed and took a little while to calm down. My roommate was super nice and gave me cut fruits, offered to cook food for me, and basically said she was there to talk whenever I needed it. I feel very thankful that I have her, but I also feel ridiculous about the whole situation. I know it's normal to cry once in a while, but I'd rather it didn't happen in front of so many of my classmates. Estrogen op.

Cooking at Varied Speeds

For those who know me pretty well, you know that I'm not much of a cook. While I love living away from home for school, one thing I really hate about it is having to fend for my own "consumables". Like any student, I go into each year with nauseatingly optimistic expectations/plans about my diet for the school year. And every time I have attempted to improve my cooking skills, save money, eat healthier, etc., I have failed...until now! :) 

This year I am living with one of my classmates, and it's working out pretty well! We are quite compatible in our living and study habits. Having a roommate that I can really connect and interact well with has motivated me to care more about the cleanliness of the apartment and take more initiative with my cooking. It helps that she is a good cook who is often willing to offer me tips. She also shares her meals with me from time to time, and this compels me to make some food of my own and share it with her in return (at her own risk of course). So far some of the dishes that I have been successful with include: 

1. My classic foolproof dish...Pasta
2. Mapo tofu - the chinese flavour packets are amazing for this.
3. Korean curry - I figured this out last year when I was living on my own, and I manage to get it right from time to time.
4. Asian style noodle stir fry - inspired by one of my classmates who recommended a Chinese hot chili bean sauce. The Chinese are honestly lifesavers with their delicious sauces. Just make sure you check the label for MSG-free products.
5. Korean pork belly with side dishes (aka Samgyup sal) - also a relatively recent discovery from last year. Easy to do and makes me feel healthy when I wrap it in lettuce with a korean hot pepper paste. Unfortunately this go-to recipe will probably go into hibernation for a while because I'm getting sick of it.
6. Kimchi fried rice - another one of my classic go-to's. It's pretty hard to go wrong with this dish, but I can't make this recipe too often because I rarely go back home during the school year, which is where I usually get my kimchi. 
7. Sausage stir fry - spur of the moment dish where I added tomato sauce and peppers. I consider this dish to be an especially significant accomplishment because it's the first time I've successfully made (or even attempted) a sausage dish since I food poisoned myself with uncooked sausages. I guess I was a bit traumatized...

8. And my latest experiment is also inspired by one of my classmates. One time I was at her place when I smelled something amazing cooking in the kitchen. That was my first encounter with the wonderful invention called the slow cooker. If I wasn't sold at the smell, I was definitely convinced I had to have one when she proceeded to explain that slow cookers were ridiculously simple to use: just throw things into it. 

So...lengthy prelude out of the way, here I am waiting to see how my slow cooker recipe turns out. This weekend I prepped a random slow cooker recipe that I found on the internet. It's super basic (and I mean that word in the least trendy way possible). Just-literally-THREW IN carrots, potatoes, onions, garlic, and pork ribs with some wine, rosemary, and italian dressing to the slow cooker. I had to prep this in advance for tomorrow's meal because this is a super busy school week for me (a complaint for another time). I'm excited to try it tomorrow because it already smelled delicious while it was cooking. 

Anyway, after my few (yet notable!) cooking successes this year, I feel I've already improved a lot from where I was before. Hopefully I can keep it up and continue to expand my boundaries. Before I know it I'll be able to actually look forward to making and eating my own food--a vital life skill that I've always wanted to acquire but without prior success. 

--Then again, it's still quite early in the year; it's not too late for my old patterns to resurface. What's a Christie post without a little realism?