A-not-so Legendary League

If you haven't heard, whether from myself in person or from my latest facebook status updates and posts, my current obsession is a game. And yes, not just any sissy game like tetris or anagrammatic anymore (i.e. oldies but goodies) but one of those real-time strategy games. On the bright side, you might say that I'm getting closer to my Korean roots, since Starcraft is the same type of game. My friend Luke has also tried to get me into a similar game, DOTA (Wow).

Nerd Legend for the Un-Nerdy: DOTA = Defense of the Ancients; Wow = World of Warcraft

Anyway, the particular game I'm playing unfortunately isn't Starcraft or Wow, but it's supposedly the next best thing: League of Legends (LoL). How does it compare with its infamous predecessors? Well it's supposedly simpler and most importantly, it's FREE!

For those curious about what the game actually entails...
You choose a champion as part of a team of 4 other champions and you face an opposing team of 5 other champions. The objective is to take out the other team's nexus (base) by taking down their defending towers one-by-one. You accomplish this by helping your auto-spawning minions overwhelm their minions or by killing enemies champions and taking down towers yourself.

I don't have particularly great reflexes, and I get a little tense when I have to make reflexive, split-second decisions in games, so why in the world would I be interested in this game? Not to sound like a broken record, but it is primarily for the POWERS. Each champion has unique abilities that enable you to damage, stun, escape from, or defend yourself against enemy champions. Of course, you also get your pick of spells, boosters (called masteries), and runes! How much more magical can a game get? :)

Let me introduce you to a few of my friends...
Morgana
This is my favourite character because she is ranged and has lots of magic power! She's also supposedly a pretty easy character to play because she has a shield and a stun that often lets her support teammates and escape from enemies more easily. Doesn't her pallid, sickly body turn you on?







Tristana
This is my second favourite character. She is also ranged but does physical damage instead of using "magic". She is basically a trigger-happy little girl with a sizable toy.




Shen
This is not one of my favourites, but because teams need balance, I decided to learn one of the characters that have a lot of health and can thus take a lot of damage (i.e. a tank). I don't usually like playing tanks because I have this impression of them being slow and fat like army tanks, but Shen is bearable. Besides, as his description in the game says, "He's a flippin' ninja!"


So far, I've only really talked about the good parts about playing this game; however, like most things, it is not without its faults. Compared to most other games, the community of players is HORRIBLE. There is so much trash-talking, noob-hating, 12 year old girls, and other individuals with the maturity of a 12 year old girl. I was about to say humanity at its worst, but really it's humanity at its non-existence. Furthermore, outside of the bad players, the basic strategies required to win are immoral and without integrity. What exactly do I mean?

1. First, know this: winning is often achieved by killing enemy champions because you receive money for the kills. This money can be used to buy stat-boosting items. So how can I kill the most champions and thus win?
The best way to kill champions is not by valiantly challenging them to a 1v1 duel. Au contraire! you must gather a sizable portion of your team and jump the enemy champion when they are alone and unprepared! What kind of message are we teaching these 12 year old girls about fairness and self-respect? Certainly nothing about fighting fair; seems all's fair in love and LoL.

2. Staying alive is good. How do you do this?
Well, other than the occasional health potion, heal spell, or whatnot, the most effective strategy is to run away with your tail between your legs. In LoL, there is no shame in running away from a fight when you are dying--in fact, most of the game is spent "running away". Even from the measly computerized minions.
Note: But of course, if your trusty teammates come over to help, you should run right back into the fight so that you can kill the enemy 2v1. Where is the courage? The decency to die with pride?

3. White flag-happy. For certain situations (e.g. you have to go back to real life) I can understand why surrendering is an option but I still hate how it is an option. Even if the game isn't completely set, people are begging their own team to surrender for the whole game instead of actually playing it. Even if you truly have no hope, just play the friggen game! Don't give stupid excuses like "this is a waste of time". Lets be realistic; you're playing an online game instead of going outside, exercising, reading a book, eating amazing food, talking to real people, playing a live board game with your friends/family, etc. I could go on and on! The point is that by being on LoL you're already wasting time. In short, LoL hasn't taught these 12 year old girls anything about perseverence or accepting one's fate gracefully and nobly.

Hollywood Recycles

When I'm stressed or tired, I find comfort in watching an easy movie, as I just did with Mean Girls 2. As expected, they recycled the plot--and, seemingly, the actresses too, but maybe that's just me. Once I have seen an actor/actress, I tend to compare all the (vaguely) similar looking actors/actresses that I see later on to my original model of that "type". Such was the case for this movie.

Meaghan Martin (left) as the main character: tomboy Jo. Loved her character! Throughout the movie, I thought she looked and talked like Natalie Portman (right) but teenager version. Unfortunately, when I looked her up on IMDB, she was all made up and looked nothing like Natalie Portman, but to get what I'm talking about you'd have to see the movie yourself. Yes, that means sitting through ~106 mins of high school girl drama.
Note: the resemblance is a little clearer in this photo from the actual movie.

Jennifer Stone (left) as the protagonist's side-kick (i.e. bestie) kinda looks like Emma Stone (right). Mostly because of the red hair and freckles I guess. And when I saw that they shared the same last name, I had to double-check they weren't related. What a coincidence!

Anyway, although neither pair is truly THAT similar, I just thought this was a recent, and thus, relevant example of my "recognition bias" (if you will) that I have while watching movies.

A Double Standard of Morals

I am a Justin Bieber hater hater. Yes, two hates. First of all, why do we have to hate him? Has he done anything evil? Certainly, criticism and subconscious jealousy always cause us to judge celebrities on the harsher side. But the Justin Bieber hate seems to be particularly strong even before he hit puberty (i.e. he was still young enough to be considered a "kid"). If people only stopped to view him objectively, they would realize he actually has some talent. He may not be the best singer in the world, but are ANY of the other celebrities really ALL that they're worked up to be?

Another thing, people make fun of his adherence to cheesiness and "trying too hard". I don't understand why we point and laugh at this because the things that celebrities resort to are a direct result of what we, as an audience, support. Those stupid, trendy things he does are simply a show of him catering to what WE have made popular. And yes, most of our "trends" ARE completely stupid; is it fair to blame all of it on this one kid? He's not only the scapegoat. He's a blatant sign of what ridiculous fads we endorse today and we refuse to acknowledge it.

And all those quips about his "girly", pre-pubertal voice are hateful and rude. In case we've forgotten, decades ago, young boys used to undergo the horrible castration process to preserve such a pure, clear vocal range. Similarly, those individuals were often mocked and seen as unmanly. Clearly our race hasn't evolved or matured very much at all.

What also bothers me is how strongly people are advocating LGBT rights (hopefully that's the right order...)--and some of these very same people are also hating on Justin Bieber. I'm all for equality and eliminating the hate, but clearly we're not sincerely into our own messages if we're hating on a kid who happened to get a lucky break into the celeb world. Like charity, eliminating the hate starts at home (i.e. from our basic, underlying principles). In fact, the underlying causes of hate come from not being able to understand or appreciate another individual's position, which is exactly what is going on here. From what I see on Youtube, on Facebook, the general Internet, there is so much hate and judgement on Justin Bieber (but not just limited to him, of course)...I doubt openness and equality will be achieved anytime soon. Of course, it's not a perfect analogy because he hasn't faced nearly the same level and duration of persecution as members of the LGBT community, but do we really need to let something get that far before we finally realize we've done something wrong?

We're a pathetic species with a superficial double standard of morals. I am disgusted and ashamed.

Old at Heart

There are many reasons why I feel extremely old at heart.

1. I lack a sense of humour. Maybe I was born in the wrong time period or I'm just a cranky old woman. Either way I don't find most of today's catchy lines, popular movies, or TV shows all that entertaining. Honestly, I've given it a try--several actually. I have sat through many episodes of Wong Fu, Ray William Johnson, Jenna Marbles, [insert chinese name of loser who thinks (s)he's funny but makes me resent my Asian roots every time I see him/her trying too hard with his/her stupid video edits], How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development, The Office, etc. without cracking even the slightest of smiles.

To add onto this, I actually hate sarcasm. It's just a way to say something horrible to someone else but get away with it by calling it a joke. You know the male strategy about asking girls out on April Fool's so they can call it a joke if they get utterly rejected? I liken sarcasm to that. Hypocritical of me, you say? Why yes, that's my favoured humour of choice. Why do I hate? Simple, I'm not really capable of any other kind of humour, since I don't really understand it. Also, I'll be honest with you. It hides the resentment and hurt I am feeling. Most of the time, I employ sarcasm in response to quips by others that offend me. I'm actually pretty sensitive inside, but I've become used to people being pretty harsh and evil that I guess I've evolved indifference and sarcasm as some sort of defense mechanism.

2. I don't understand why most trends today are trends. I have also endured all 8 Harry Potter movies and all of the most recent "UNRATED" comedy movies that have been deemed worthy of a good laugh by the general public and to no avail. I came out strongly resenting the opportunity cost of my $11 movie ticket. I refuse to purchase Uggs, Coach, DG, and other brand name products. I don't even know the names of half of the latest "hot" brands. JAYESSLEE...what to say what to say...It's like we've never seen a pretty girl. Or a singer. Or someone with a foreign accent. Going to pitch the triple threat thing? Go see real talent. Go see a musical.

3. I feel alone. Sometimes it makes me sad, but every time I reconvene with other homo sapiens, I re-appreciate how good it feels to be alone. No one can make you feel anything other than what you want to feel. That's why I don't need anyone else. The only one I've always been able to rely on has always been right here.

4. Other than the bare societal necessities (i.e. bank card, SIN card, passport, etc.), I don't care too much about my possessions. They're not going to last forever, nor are they responsible for my happiness; no need to pamper them with needless attention. Instead, I place value in the small things that have sentimental value. This often makes me careless; I guess it's something I should work on until I do reach my spinster years.

5. I feel like the best days of my life have already passed. This causes me to reminisce and regret the way I acted and the things I did.

Out of Perspective

At every level of school--elementary, high school, and university--I thought I was in the worst years of my life at the time. Mostly because I felt pretty crappy about myself and the people around me everywhere I went...and it still holds true today. Never once did I acknowledge my current situation as a "good" time, but given the perspective I have today, I think my favourite years were during elementary school. I suppose my friends of that part of my life were the "truest" and really appreciated/knew me for who I really was; those relationships were also the most meaningful (aside from the romantic relationships of course). The kids around me surprisingly dealt with a lot of tough things at such a young age. I think I can also remember being truly happy then.

Today? I was wrong about my peers. They don't make me feel good; my early feelings were masked by the adrenaline-fed anticipation of a new term. This is just another stop I have to get through on the long journey of life. Hopefully I have the good sense to make the best of it while I'm here. I'm trying to care, but it's tough. What's in a name? That which we call a friend would by any other name be as meaningless.

Then again, considering the whole idea of perspective addressed in this post, maybe I'll look back to these years (i.e. undergrad) and think they were the best years of my life--but most likely not.

Gossip Boy

Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, I don't think girls are more prone to gossiping than boys. Girls are simply more open and less stealthy about discussing their beef with other people. Perhaps it has something to do with the stereotypical female conversation topics.

Where men fill their conversations with sports/gaming talk (and we all know how long this can go on...), women would otherwise discuss "girly" things like fashion and their own lives--what better way to get over the issues of your own life or salvage your self-esteem than to gossip about other people's lives? This is my hypothesis for why gossip appears to be more common for women than men.

A lot of men are generally less likely to discuss their personal life or, more specifically, emotions in conversation particularly in a public area. Does this necessarily mean they don't gossip as much? I don't think so...for a few reasons:

1. I think it's part of human nature to be curious about other people and how their lives have turned out. Male or female, we need and often seek out similar standards to our own lives; isn't that part of the reason the concept of a "celebrity" even exists? And lets face it, there are plenty of female celebrities that most girls don't care about in the slightest (*cough Megan Fox). Yet they're still making headlines and selling movies; clearly, they must be receiving support from our male counterparts in the audience. Point being, there is equal motivation for males to gossip. Sometimes the motivation for seeking out gossip may be different for males and females. For example, males might entertain gossip just for entertainment, to be in the know, etc.

2. As I alluded to before, men are more stealthy. Generally, not over-brimming with emotion, they have the patience to save gossip for a private place, and when they know something, they are more experienced with keeping emotions in, regardless of how exciting it is. Take a royal flush for instance; the top 10 poker players in the world, rated by ESPN in 2010 are all men (http://www.onlinepokernews.org/poker-news/top-10-poker-players-according-to-espn/1791). This also speaks to their bluffing skills. Furthermore, men have an additional reason not to openly gossip: it's become known as a "girl" thing to do. What's that saying for a loop--something about a self-fulfilling prophecy?

3. Yes guys tend to be more upfront about things, but they also avoid creating drama or heated arguments, especially ones they know they can't win no matter what they say (i.e. husband-wife). Not being addressed directly, some of this emotional burden might come out through other means such as gossip.

4. Gay guys excluded, what do guys love ALMOST as much as their games/sports? Girls. And lets face it, we're complicated--or at least we try to be. That only adds to our allure and intrigue, but it doesn't make snagging one of us any easier for the guys. Unlike most sports/games, there isn't really a GENERAL strategy that works on all of us. I believe that has created the need for guys to discretely share intel on the different girls they are close to and have unlocked the secret levels for.

Gossip is an unfortunate but necessary thing for us as humans. Men and women do it just as frequently. However, the motivations, subjects, and ways they go about gossiping differ.

Stuffing and Stuff

So, this week wasn't good from a practical standpoint (I've been told it's practical to worry about your GPA and career development). I had two midterms, and I'm pretty sure neither of them went too well. Unfortunately, all I can honestly say about it is, "Oh well." I don't know where this indifference is coming from, but my apathy for school is creeping up on me again, and I don't know whether to feel scared or relieved--I am even apathetic about my apathy.

Up an octave, physically, I feel better about everything...and I guess, myself. :) Last night, I went to sleep at a reasonable time: 1am. Baby steps right? Oh! A major reason why I haven't been sleeping lately is because I've been studying so hard. OH GOD, I hope you didn't believe me; I'm not nearly as dedicated as my ethnicity makes me out to be. -_-" The REAL reason why I've been staying up late is that I recently received Fire Emblem: Sealed Sword for GBA emulator, and it's been distracting me from schoolwork all term. I guess in a way I am a dedicated Asian because I just couldn't put the game down without beating it to completion. AND LAST NIGHT I FINALLY BEAT IT--well sort of, but lets not get into that. :(

This weekend, I went home and ate turkey with my family! It was less dry than turkey usually is, and the stuffing was amazing. THE END. Good stuffing means an amazing meal. Period. Well, I guess I should mention the other stuff anyway...so I had dinner with my family on the Saturday, and my mom made TOO much food. Hah, at least I'm not at home, so I don't have to help with all the leftovers. Sunday, I went to my Aunt's and we had Hakka takeout. It was interesting: a bit saucy and we could have chosen spicier dishes, but it was something new. It was also a celebration of my little cousin's birthday! She is turning 2 this year, and she seems to be developing faster than other kids her age. I'm rather interested to see how she turns out. I hate how my aunts, uncles, and parents keep comparing her to the development of me and my cousins. It pokes me right in my competitive spot; I feel like I want to go back to that age and show them that I can be advanced too...

Well, this week I've been reflecting on how I interact with my peers and "friends", and I think either I'm getting better at it or they are. Not exactly sure which, but somehow they've become more tolerable, and I'm starting to enjoy their company more (as I imagine I should be). I don't know what else to think or write, so I shall end that thought there.

Something random that occurred to me today:
Not that I'm emo or seeking attention, but I was thinking about people who have attempted or succeeded at suicide. Somehow it occurred to me that if I attempted suicide and backed out at the last minute or was completely unsuccessful, not only would I have to continue living, but I would also have to deal with the repercussions of my perceived emotional instability and failed attempt. Aside from all the friend/family shock, I again looked at this from a "practical" standpoint: If I ever wanted to apply for professional schools or "higher-end" jobs, my attempted suicide probably screwed whatever slim chances I ever had. Moral being, if you're going to do something, go for it all the way, I guess? I'm not sure there's really a moral in that, but it's what was going through my convoluted brain on the long walk to orchestra rehearsal.

Anyway, I'm going to try to squeeze in some forced productivity and attempt a self-imposed curfew. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!