I am a Justin Bieber hater hater. Yes, two hates. First of all, why do we have to hate him? Has he done anything evil? Certainly, criticism and subconscious jealousy always cause us to judge celebrities on the harsher side. But the Justin Bieber hate seems to be particularly strong even before he hit puberty (i.e. he was still young enough to be considered a "kid"). If people only stopped to view him objectively, they would realize he actually has some talent. He may not be the best singer in the world, but are ANY of the other celebrities really ALL that they're worked up to be?
Another thing, people make fun of his adherence to cheesiness and "trying too hard". I don't understand why we point and laugh at this because the things that celebrities resort to are a direct result of what we, as an audience, support. Those stupid, trendy things he does are simply a show of him catering to what WE have made popular. And yes, most of our "trends" ARE completely stupid; is it fair to blame all of it on this one kid? He's not only the scapegoat. He's a blatant sign of what ridiculous fads we endorse today and we refuse to acknowledge it.
And all those quips about his "girly", pre-pubertal voice are hateful and rude. In case we've forgotten, decades ago, young boys used to undergo the horrible castration process to preserve such a pure, clear vocal range. Similarly, those individuals were often mocked and seen as unmanly. Clearly our race hasn't evolved or matured very much at all.
What also bothers me is how strongly people are advocating LGBT rights (hopefully that's the right order...)--and some of these very same people are also hating on Justin Bieber. I'm all for equality and eliminating the hate, but clearly we're not sincerely into our own messages if we're hating on a kid who happened to get a lucky break into the celeb world. Like charity, eliminating the hate starts at home (i.e. from our basic, underlying principles). In fact, the underlying causes of hate come from not being able to understand or appreciate another individual's position, which is exactly what is going on here. From what I see on Youtube, on Facebook, the general Internet, there is so much hate and judgement on Justin Bieber (but not just limited to him, of course)...I doubt openness and equality will be achieved anytime soon. Of course, it's not a perfect analogy because he hasn't faced nearly the same level and duration of persecution as members of the LGBT community, but do we really need to let something get that far before we finally realize we've done something wrong?
We're a pathetic species with a superficial double standard of morals. I am disgusted and ashamed.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Old at Heart
There are many reasons why I feel extremely old at heart.
1. I lack a sense of humour. Maybe I was born in the wrong time period or I'm just a cranky old woman. Either way I don't find most of today's catchy lines, popular movies, or TV shows all that entertaining. Honestly, I've given it a try--several actually. I have sat through many episodes of Wong Fu, Ray William Johnson, Jenna Marbles, [insert chinese name of loser who thinks (s)he's funny but makes me resent my Asian roots every time I see him/her trying too hard with his/her stupid video edits], How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development, The Office, etc. without cracking even the slightest of smiles.
To add onto this, I actually hate sarcasm. It's just a way to say something horrible to someone else but get away with it by calling it a joke. You know the male strategy about asking girls out on April Fool's so they can call it a joke if they get utterly rejected? I liken sarcasm to that. Hypocritical of me, you say? Why yes, that's my favoured humour of choice. Why do I hate? Simple, I'm not really capable of any other kind of humour, since I don't really understand it. Also, I'll be honest with you. It hides the resentment and hurt I am feeling. Most of the time, I employ sarcasm in response to quips by others that offend me. I'm actually pretty sensitive inside, but I've become used to people being pretty harsh and evil that I guess I've evolved indifference and sarcasm as some sort of defense mechanism.
2. I don't understand why most trends today are trends. I have also endured all 8 Harry Potter movies and all of the most recent "UNRATED" comedy movies that have been deemed worthy of a good laugh by the general public and to no avail. I came out strongly resenting the opportunity cost of my $11 movie ticket. I refuse to purchase Uggs, Coach, DG, and other brand name products. I don't even know the names of half of the latest "hot" brands. JAYESSLEE...what to say what to say...It's like we've never seen a pretty girl. Or a singer. Or someone with a foreign accent. Going to pitch the triple threat thing? Go see real talent. Go see a musical.
3. I feel alone. Sometimes it makes me sad, but every time I reconvene with other homo sapiens, I re-appreciate how good it feels to be alone. No one can make you feel anything other than what you want to feel. That's why I don't need anyone else. The only one I've always been able to rely on has always been right here.
4. Other than the bare societal necessities (i.e. bank card, SIN card, passport, etc.), I don't care too much about my possessions. They're not going to last forever, nor are they responsible for my happiness; no need to pamper them with needless attention. Instead, I place value in the small things that have sentimental value. This often makes me careless; I guess it's something I should work on until I do reach my spinster years.
5. I feel like the best days of my life have already passed. This causes me to reminisce and regret the way I acted and the things I did.
1. I lack a sense of humour. Maybe I was born in the wrong time period or I'm just a cranky old woman. Either way I don't find most of today's catchy lines, popular movies, or TV shows all that entertaining. Honestly, I've given it a try--several actually. I have sat through many episodes of Wong Fu, Ray William Johnson, Jenna Marbles, [insert chinese name of loser who thinks (s)he's funny but makes me resent my Asian roots every time I see him/her trying too hard with his/her stupid video edits], How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development, The Office, etc. without cracking even the slightest of smiles.
To add onto this, I actually hate sarcasm. It's just a way to say something horrible to someone else but get away with it by calling it a joke. You know the male strategy about asking girls out on April Fool's so they can call it a joke if they get utterly rejected? I liken sarcasm to that. Hypocritical of me, you say? Why yes, that's my favoured humour of choice. Why do I hate? Simple, I'm not really capable of any other kind of humour, since I don't really understand it. Also, I'll be honest with you. It hides the resentment and hurt I am feeling. Most of the time, I employ sarcasm in response to quips by others that offend me. I'm actually pretty sensitive inside, but I've become used to people being pretty harsh and evil that I guess I've evolved indifference and sarcasm as some sort of defense mechanism.
2. I don't understand why most trends today are trends. I have also endured all 8 Harry Potter movies and all of the most recent "UNRATED" comedy movies that have been deemed worthy of a good laugh by the general public and to no avail. I came out strongly resenting the opportunity cost of my $11 movie ticket. I refuse to purchase Uggs, Coach, DG, and other brand name products. I don't even know the names of half of the latest "hot" brands. JAYESSLEE...what to say what to say...It's like we've never seen a pretty girl. Or a singer. Or someone with a foreign accent. Going to pitch the triple threat thing? Go see real talent. Go see a musical.
3. I feel alone. Sometimes it makes me sad, but every time I reconvene with other homo sapiens, I re-appreciate how good it feels to be alone. No one can make you feel anything other than what you want to feel. That's why I don't need anyone else. The only one I've always been able to rely on has always been right here.
4. Other than the bare societal necessities (i.e. bank card, SIN card, passport, etc.), I don't care too much about my possessions. They're not going to last forever, nor are they responsible for my happiness; no need to pamper them with needless attention. Instead, I place value in the small things that have sentimental value. This often makes me careless; I guess it's something I should work on until I do reach my spinster years.
5. I feel like the best days of my life have already passed. This causes me to reminisce and regret the way I acted and the things I did.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Out of Perspective
At every level of school--elementary, high school, and university--I thought I was in the worst years of my life at the time. Mostly because I felt pretty crappy about myself and the people around me everywhere I went...and it still holds true today. Never once did I acknowledge my current situation as a "good" time, but given the perspective I have today, I think my favourite years were during elementary school. I suppose my friends of that part of my life were the "truest" and really appreciated/knew me for who I really was; those relationships were also the most meaningful (aside from the romantic relationships of course). The kids around me surprisingly dealt with a lot of tough things at such a young age. I think I can also remember being truly happy then.
Today? I was wrong about my peers. They don't make me feel good; my early feelings were masked by the adrenaline-fed anticipation of a new term. This is just another stop I have to get through on the long journey of life. Hopefully I have the good sense to make the best of it while I'm here. I'm trying to care, but it's tough. What's in a name? That which we call a friend would by any other name be as meaningless.
Then again, considering the whole idea of perspective addressed in this post, maybe I'll look back to these years (i.e. undergrad) and think they were the best years of my life--but most likely not.
Today? I was wrong about my peers. They don't make me feel good; my early feelings were masked by the adrenaline-fed anticipation of a new term. This is just another stop I have to get through on the long journey of life. Hopefully I have the good sense to make the best of it while I'm here. I'm trying to care, but it's tough. What's in a name? That which we call a friend would by any other name be as meaningless.
Then again, considering the whole idea of perspective addressed in this post, maybe I'll look back to these years (i.e. undergrad) and think they were the best years of my life--but most likely not.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Gossip Boy
Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, I don't think girls are more prone to gossiping than boys. Girls are simply more open and less stealthy about discussing their beef with other people. Perhaps it has something to do with the stereotypical female conversation topics.
Where men fill their conversations with sports/gaming talk (and we all know how long this can go on...), women would otherwise discuss "girly" things like fashion and their own lives--what better way to get over the issues of your own life or salvage your self-esteem than to gossip about other people's lives? This is my hypothesis for why gossip appears to be more common for women than men.
A lot of men are generally less likely to discuss their personal life or, more specifically, emotions in conversation particularly in a public area. Does this necessarily mean they don't gossip as much? I don't think so...for a few reasons:
1. I think it's part of human nature to be curious about other people and how their lives have turned out. Male or female, we need and often seek out similar standards to our own lives; isn't that part of the reason the concept of a "celebrity" even exists? And lets face it, there are plenty of female celebrities that most girls don't care about in the slightest (*cough Megan Fox). Yet they're still making headlines and selling movies; clearly, they must be receiving support from our male counterparts in the audience. Point being, there is equal motivation for males to gossip. Sometimes the motivation for seeking out gossip may be different for males and females. For example, males might entertain gossip just for entertainment, to be in the know, etc.
2. As I alluded to before, men are more stealthy. Generally, not over-brimming with emotion, they have the patience to save gossip for a private place, and when they know something, they are more experienced with keeping emotions in, regardless of how exciting it is. Take a royal flush for instance; the top 10 poker players in the world, rated by ESPN in 2010 are all men (http://www.onlinepokernews.org/poker-news/top-10-poker-players-according-to-espn/1791). This also speaks to their bluffing skills. Furthermore, men have an additional reason not to openly gossip: it's become known as a "girl" thing to do. What's that saying for a loop--something about a self-fulfilling prophecy?
3. Yes guys tend to be more upfront about things, but they also avoid creating drama or heated arguments, especially ones they know they can't win no matter what they say (i.e. husband-wife). Not being addressed directly, some of this emotional burden might come out through other means such as gossip.
4. Gay guys excluded, what do guys love ALMOST as much as their games/sports? Girls. And lets face it, we're complicated--or at least we try to be. That only adds to our allure and intrigue, but it doesn't make snagging one of us any easier for the guys. Unlike most sports/games, there isn't really a GENERAL strategy that works on all of us. I believe that has created the need for guys to discretely share intel on the different girls they are close to and have unlocked the secret levels for.
Gossip is an unfortunate but necessary thing for us as humans. Men and women do it just as frequently. However, the motivations, subjects, and ways they go about gossiping differ.
Where men fill their conversations with sports/gaming talk (and we all know how long this can go on...), women would otherwise discuss "girly" things like fashion and their own lives--what better way to get over the issues of your own life or salvage your self-esteem than to gossip about other people's lives? This is my hypothesis for why gossip appears to be more common for women than men.
A lot of men are generally less likely to discuss their personal life or, more specifically, emotions in conversation particularly in a public area. Does this necessarily mean they don't gossip as much? I don't think so...for a few reasons:
1. I think it's part of human nature to be curious about other people and how their lives have turned out. Male or female, we need and often seek out similar standards to our own lives; isn't that part of the reason the concept of a "celebrity" even exists? And lets face it, there are plenty of female celebrities that most girls don't care about in the slightest (*cough Megan Fox). Yet they're still making headlines and selling movies; clearly, they must be receiving support from our male counterparts in the audience. Point being, there is equal motivation for males to gossip. Sometimes the motivation for seeking out gossip may be different for males and females. For example, males might entertain gossip just for entertainment, to be in the know, etc.
2. As I alluded to before, men are more stealthy. Generally, not over-brimming with emotion, they have the patience to save gossip for a private place, and when they know something, they are more experienced with keeping emotions in, regardless of how exciting it is. Take a royal flush for instance; the top 10 poker players in the world, rated by ESPN in 2010 are all men (http://www.onlinepokernews.org/poker-news/top-10-poker-players-according-to-espn/1791). This also speaks to their bluffing skills. Furthermore, men have an additional reason not to openly gossip: it's become known as a "girl" thing to do. What's that saying for a loop--something about a self-fulfilling prophecy?
3. Yes guys tend to be more upfront about things, but they also avoid creating drama or heated arguments, especially ones they know they can't win no matter what they say (i.e. husband-wife). Not being addressed directly, some of this emotional burden might come out through other means such as gossip.
4. Gay guys excluded, what do guys love ALMOST as much as their games/sports? Girls. And lets face it, we're complicated--or at least we try to be. That only adds to our allure and intrigue, but it doesn't make snagging one of us any easier for the guys. Unlike most sports/games, there isn't really a GENERAL strategy that works on all of us. I believe that has created the need for guys to discretely share intel on the different girls they are close to and have unlocked the secret levels for.
Gossip is an unfortunate but necessary thing for us as humans. Men and women do it just as frequently. However, the motivations, subjects, and ways they go about gossiping differ.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Stuffing and Stuff
So, this week wasn't good from a practical standpoint (I've been told it's practical to worry about your GPA and career development). I had two midterms, and I'm pretty sure neither of them went too well. Unfortunately, all I can honestly say about it is, "Oh well." I don't know where this indifference is coming from, but my apathy for school is creeping up on me again, and I don't know whether to feel scared or relieved--I am even apathetic about my apathy.
Up an octave, physically, I feel better about everything...and I guess, myself. :) Last night, I went to sleep at a reasonable time: 1am. Baby steps right? Oh! A major reason why I haven't been sleeping lately is because I've been studying so hard. OH GOD, I hope you didn't believe me; I'm not nearly as dedicated as my ethnicity makes me out to be. -_-" The REAL reason why I've been staying up late is that I recently received Fire Emblem: Sealed Sword for GBA emulator, and it's been distracting me from schoolwork all term. I guess in a way I am a dedicated Asian because I just couldn't put the game down without beating it to completion. AND LAST NIGHT I FINALLY BEAT IT--well sort of, but lets not get into that. :(
This weekend, I went home and ate turkey with my family! It was less dry than turkey usually is, and the stuffing was amazing. THE END. Good stuffing means an amazing meal. Period. Well, I guess I should mention the other stuff anyway...so I had dinner with my family on the Saturday, and my mom made TOO much food. Hah, at least I'm not at home, so I don't have to help with all the leftovers. Sunday, I went to my Aunt's and we had Hakka takeout. It was interesting: a bit saucy and we could have chosen spicier dishes, but it was something new. It was also a celebration of my little cousin's birthday! She is turning 2 this year, and she seems to be developing faster than other kids her age. I'm rather interested to see how she turns out. I hate how my aunts, uncles, and parents keep comparing her to the development of me and my cousins. It pokes me right in my competitive spot; I feel like I want to go back to that age and show them that I can be advanced too...
Well, this week I've been reflecting on how I interact with my peers and "friends", and I think either I'm getting better at it or they are. Not exactly sure which, but somehow they've become more tolerable, and I'm starting to enjoy their company more (as I imagine I should be). I don't know what else to think or write, so I shall end that thought there.
Something random that occurred to me today:
Not that I'm emo or seeking attention, but I was thinking about people who have attempted or succeeded at suicide. Somehow it occurred to me that if I attempted suicide and backed out at the last minute or was completely unsuccessful, not only would I have to continue living, but I would also have to deal with the repercussions of my perceived emotional instability and failed attempt. Aside from all the friend/family shock, I again looked at this from a "practical" standpoint: If I ever wanted to apply for professional schools or "higher-end" jobs, my attempted suicide probably screwed whatever slim chances I ever had. Moral being, if you're going to do something, go for it all the way, I guess? I'm not sure there's really a moral in that, but it's what was going through my convoluted brain on the long walk to orchestra rehearsal.
Anyway, I'm going to try to squeeze in some forced productivity and attempt a self-imposed curfew. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!
Up an octave, physically, I feel better about everything...and I guess, myself. :) Last night, I went to sleep at a reasonable time: 1am. Baby steps right? Oh! A major reason why I haven't been sleeping lately is because I've been studying so hard. OH GOD, I hope you didn't believe me; I'm not nearly as dedicated as my ethnicity makes me out to be. -_-" The REAL reason why I've been staying up late is that I recently received Fire Emblem: Sealed Sword for GBA emulator, and it's been distracting me from schoolwork all term. I guess in a way I am a dedicated Asian because I just couldn't put the game down without beating it to completion. AND LAST NIGHT I FINALLY BEAT IT--well sort of, but lets not get into that. :(
This weekend, I went home and ate turkey with my family! It was less dry than turkey usually is, and the stuffing was amazing. THE END. Good stuffing means an amazing meal. Period. Well, I guess I should mention the other stuff anyway...so I had dinner with my family on the Saturday, and my mom made TOO much food. Hah, at least I'm not at home, so I don't have to help with all the leftovers. Sunday, I went to my Aunt's and we had Hakka takeout. It was interesting: a bit saucy and we could have chosen spicier dishes, but it was something new. It was also a celebration of my little cousin's birthday! She is turning 2 this year, and she seems to be developing faster than other kids her age. I'm rather interested to see how she turns out. I hate how my aunts, uncles, and parents keep comparing her to the development of me and my cousins. It pokes me right in my competitive spot; I feel like I want to go back to that age and show them that I can be advanced too...
Well, this week I've been reflecting on how I interact with my peers and "friends", and I think either I'm getting better at it or they are. Not exactly sure which, but somehow they've become more tolerable, and I'm starting to enjoy their company more (as I imagine I should be). I don't know what else to think or write, so I shall end that thought there.
Something random that occurred to me today:
Not that I'm emo or seeking attention, but I was thinking about people who have attempted or succeeded at suicide. Somehow it occurred to me that if I attempted suicide and backed out at the last minute or was completely unsuccessful, not only would I have to continue living, but I would also have to deal with the repercussions of my perceived emotional instability and failed attempt. Aside from all the friend/family shock, I again looked at this from a "practical" standpoint: If I ever wanted to apply for professional schools or "higher-end" jobs, my attempted suicide probably screwed whatever slim chances I ever had. Moral being, if you're going to do something, go for it all the way, I guess? I'm not sure there's really a moral in that, but it's what was going through my convoluted brain on the long walk to orchestra rehearsal.
Anyway, I'm going to try to squeeze in some forced productivity and attempt a self-imposed curfew. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Summer Updates
THE INTRO PART
I can honestly conclude that this summer has been a relatively good one--and I feel like it's been long overdue. What made it good? Well, after a long dry spell of pretentiously reassuring ourselves that "Our house is pretty much like a cottage. It's nice to just relax here, and we don't have to spend any money either!", my family went on an ACTUAL vacation this summer. It's been...what, 10 years?
THE PART ABOUT THE NOT-AS-LAME-AS-EXPECTED VACATION
It was about an 8-day vacation in the Canadian Rockies. It was an active, somewhat relaxing trip. Most days were spent hiking. I'm not a big fan of it, and I wasn't actually looking forward to the trip beforehand, but it turned out to be okay. Plus, the outdoor activity helps to justify my excessive eating habits at home. The highlight of my trip was probably going whitewater rafting for the first time with my dad, brother, and cousin. For those of you familiar with the grading system of rapids, we went on a level 2/3. It was fun, but we all conceded that next time we'd have to go with a higher grading to up the excitement. As for the rest of the trip, we spent most days hiking mountains and exploring lake areas. It's amazing how the highway is just filled with trees and mountains--not a building in sight, so it was quite a shock when we got back to the GTA. Still, I've never been much of a landscape person, so after a few drives and hikes everything really starts to look the same.
THE PART ABOUT DRIVING
Also, I've finally gotten around to booking my G test. I planned to do it the weekend of the first week back to school, but I stupidly booked it for the Monday thinking Sept 19 was a Sunday. No idea what calendar I was looking at... Ugh, and missing an entire day in the second week of classes--GREAT start to the term. It's a real pain, and I'm not sure I even know anyone in those classes to get notes off of, but I really just want to get my stupid G out of the way before it expires. -_-" Live and learn--for me, both have been quite painful.
THE PART ABOUT THE MINI NIAGARA TRIP
In the past few days, I've also been in the Niagara-on-the-Lake area on a mini-trip with some of my family. It was another active/semi-relaxing trip with biking and hiking all over again. My aunt made some nice pasta. My favourite part of the dish was the arugula and basil that she topped it with. It tastes amazingggg to have the fresh ingredients on an otherwise slightly-above-average pasta. I highly recommend it!
THE PART ABOUT SCHOOL STUFF
As for school, I'm dreading it. If you didn't know, I just switched out of the Science and Business program into Biomedical Sciences this past winter, so I'm scrambling to obtain all the graduation requirements. Plus, it would be nice to finish school when I'm supposed to (vs. 1 year later because of the co-op program I was previously in). Unfortunately, all this amounts to me taking 4 consecutive school terms with only a few weeks of break between each--and I'm only halfway there.
THE PART DEMONSTRATING MY TYPE A PERSONALITY
I don't really want to rant about my usual life worries because I feel like I've already over-publicized that subject. Just know they're still alive and more than well.
THE OVER-ANALYTICAL, SELF-SYMPATHIZING PART
For some reason, I feel really down these days. Not even angry or irritable anymore, but just apathetic and lethargic. I'm certain it's not depression or anything seriously medical, but I feel stuck between needing major change in my life and being too afraid to leave my comfort zone. I've thought about it, and a lot of it seems to do with the friends I have and the things I'm doing. I feel like I need to meet new people and make friends that are more compatible with me. A change of scenery. I'm not even sure whether it's me or my surroundings that are the problem, and I don't think it will be easy to change either. I don't really know what the next steps in my life are, and when my options are presented to me, it just feels so overwhelming and intimidating. I wish I had more courage, more independence. Can anyone just develop those traits if they work hard enough at it, or are some of us just stuck with what we are? What if what I am is not enough? Nobody wants to consider that alternative, so we optimistically settle with the motto that anyone can do anything if you just put your heart into it. I wonder if that's really the case.
I can honestly conclude that this summer has been a relatively good one--and I feel like it's been long overdue. What made it good? Well, after a long dry spell of pretentiously reassuring ourselves that "Our house is pretty much like a cottage. It's nice to just relax here, and we don't have to spend any money either!", my family went on an ACTUAL vacation this summer. It's been...what, 10 years?
THE PART ABOUT THE NOT-AS-LAME-AS-EXPECTED VACATION
It was about an 8-day vacation in the Canadian Rockies. It was an active, somewhat relaxing trip. Most days were spent hiking. I'm not a big fan of it, and I wasn't actually looking forward to the trip beforehand, but it turned out to be okay. Plus, the outdoor activity helps to justify my excessive eating habits at home. The highlight of my trip was probably going whitewater rafting for the first time with my dad, brother, and cousin. For those of you familiar with the grading system of rapids, we went on a level 2/3. It was fun, but we all conceded that next time we'd have to go with a higher grading to up the excitement. As for the rest of the trip, we spent most days hiking mountains and exploring lake areas. It's amazing how the highway is just filled with trees and mountains--not a building in sight, so it was quite a shock when we got back to the GTA. Still, I've never been much of a landscape person, so after a few drives and hikes everything really starts to look the same.
THE PART ABOUT DRIVING
Also, I've finally gotten around to booking my G test. I planned to do it the weekend of the first week back to school, but I stupidly booked it for the Monday thinking Sept 19 was a Sunday. No idea what calendar I was looking at... Ugh, and missing an entire day in the second week of classes--GREAT start to the term. It's a real pain, and I'm not sure I even know anyone in those classes to get notes off of, but I really just want to get my stupid G out of the way before it expires. -_-" Live and learn--for me, both have been quite painful.
THE PART ABOUT THE MINI NIAGARA TRIP
In the past few days, I've also been in the Niagara-on-the-Lake area on a mini-trip with some of my family. It was another active/semi-relaxing trip with biking and hiking all over again. My aunt made some nice pasta. My favourite part of the dish was the arugula and basil that she topped it with. It tastes amazingggg to have the fresh ingredients on an otherwise slightly-above-average pasta. I highly recommend it!
THE PART ABOUT SCHOOL STUFF
As for school, I'm dreading it. If you didn't know, I just switched out of the Science and Business program into Biomedical Sciences this past winter, so I'm scrambling to obtain all the graduation requirements. Plus, it would be nice to finish school when I'm supposed to (vs. 1 year later because of the co-op program I was previously in). Unfortunately, all this amounts to me taking 4 consecutive school terms with only a few weeks of break between each--and I'm only halfway there.
THE PART DEMONSTRATING MY TYPE A PERSONALITY
I don't really want to rant about my usual life worries because I feel like I've already over-publicized that subject. Just know they're still alive and more than well.
THE OVER-ANALYTICAL, SELF-SYMPATHIZING PART
For some reason, I feel really down these days. Not even angry or irritable anymore, but just apathetic and lethargic. I'm certain it's not depression or anything seriously medical, but I feel stuck between needing major change in my life and being too afraid to leave my comfort zone. I've thought about it, and a lot of it seems to do with the friends I have and the things I'm doing. I feel like I need to meet new people and make friends that are more compatible with me. A change of scenery. I'm not even sure whether it's me or my surroundings that are the problem, and I don't think it will be easy to change either. I don't really know what the next steps in my life are, and when my options are presented to me, it just feels so overwhelming and intimidating. I wish I had more courage, more independence. Can anyone just develop those traits if they work hard enough at it, or are some of us just stuck with what we are? What if what I am is not enough? Nobody wants to consider that alternative, so we optimistically settle with the motto that anyone can do anything if you just put your heart into it. I wonder if that's really the case.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Peer pressure: Stop, Go, or Slow?
So it's been a while since I've vented anything onto here, but I'm sorry to say that I'm back. It's not even a fresh thought, but I just wanted to do anything else but study for exams (even my games are getting boring).
Something I've noticed is that movies and social media in general over-emphasize the impact of peer pressure in high school--at least, where it is present, it's very subtle and not nearly as dramatic as Mean Girls makes it out to be. One particularly odd place I've noticed the effect of peer pressure is at traffic lights, especially when there are lots of people there (e.g. crossings near a university).
Scenario: A large group of students who just got off the bus want to cross North/South.
-The red-orange hand is up, but there are no cars traveling West/East.
From my personal interpretation of my observations in these situations, I have identified 3 main groups:
1. A few individuals boldly cross after seeing the path is clear: I think of them as the rebels or bolder trendsetters.
2. Others stubbornly stand their ground. After all, the red hand = stop. No but's about the rules.
3. The final group of individuals are those who stood there all that time watching Group 1 cross, unsure of whether they should do the same or not. To "break the traffic rules" or not? Finally, after a brief inner struggle with the pressure enforced upon them by their Group 1 peers, they decide to cross.
Ironically, most of the time, the West/East traffic lights would have turned yellow by then (i.e. the white man will appear soon, and those patient and strong-willed enough to stand their ground will be able to cross shortly as well).
NOTE: In the absence of Group 1 individuals, Group 2 and 3 members are indifferentiable.
I enjoy watching Group 3 struggle with this minor barrage of peer pressure. Gives me something to do during those long, uncooperative lights.
P.S. The results of this study may not apply to those ridiculously long lights in residential areas because sometimes those are just ridiculous. In those cases, late crossers may be a result of impatience. After all, none of us are getting any younger.
Something I've noticed is that movies and social media in general over-emphasize the impact of peer pressure in high school--at least, where it is present, it's very subtle and not nearly as dramatic as Mean Girls makes it out to be. One particularly odd place I've noticed the effect of peer pressure is at traffic lights, especially when there are lots of people there (e.g. crossings near a university).
Scenario: A large group of students who just got off the bus want to cross North/South.
-The red-orange hand is up, but there are no cars traveling West/East.
From my personal interpretation of my observations in these situations, I have identified 3 main groups:
1. A few individuals boldly cross after seeing the path is clear: I think of them as the rebels or bolder trendsetters.
2. Others stubbornly stand their ground. After all, the red hand = stop. No but's about the rules.
3. The final group of individuals are those who stood there all that time watching Group 1 cross, unsure of whether they should do the same or not. To "break the traffic rules" or not? Finally, after a brief inner struggle with the pressure enforced upon them by their Group 1 peers, they decide to cross.
Ironically, most of the time, the West/East traffic lights would have turned yellow by then (i.e. the white man will appear soon, and those patient and strong-willed enough to stand their ground will be able to cross shortly as well).
NOTE: In the absence of Group 1 individuals, Group 2 and 3 members are indifferentiable.
I enjoy watching Group 3 struggle with this minor barrage of peer pressure. Gives me something to do during those long, uncooperative lights.
P.S. The results of this study may not apply to those ridiculously long lights in residential areas because sometimes those are just ridiculous. In those cases, late crossers may be a result of impatience. After all, none of us are getting any younger.
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